Review Detail of Ryokuchade in The Bastard of the Royal Family

So far from what I've read the grammar is off. Some words do not have proper endings or the correct transitions but the story is exceptional. World building is done well, just enough detail is included. The development of the story is a little excelerated and over the top but interesting. I appreciate the fourth wall breaks that make you want to laugh out loud (Don't worry author, my mind was not wandering) and the description of the characters. I will comment on the writing quality though as in the first chapter all of the text is crunched together and hard to read. The genre is overused but the idea that this game is super old is a fresh look. Overall I think the book could use a signifigant grammar and word check but otherwise I am hopefull for the future of this novel. *To the Author- If you need someone to revise your story I'd be happy to, I have also started writing a few novels myself and I am a native english speaker.