The idea is very interesting but needs to be more developped. I have suggested somes ideas like flashbacks or other in a post. To show the way that this is not developped enough, at the beginning, the moment he see his friends is not developped, I would have developed this moment more than just a sentence from an external point of view with a dialogue or a hug maybe (because Obito is happy to see his sensei and the one he love and he saw dying alive). An other moment is that Obito, before the Kanabi bridge mission said to Kushina that the mission would be a success and no one would be injured and I would like to see the return and Obito saying to Kushina "I told it to you". But there is an improvement in writing and it's nice ^^. And the idea that Fugaku want a future without war for his children is so good!
Leen_123
Liked by 1 people
LIKENo replies. Be the first!