Review Detail of IShallnotbefound in The last dreadnaut

btw there are many more things to work on, just things i noticed off the bat

Thank you i appreciate the feedback hmm btw when you say it lack emotion or seems fake what exactly do you mean ?. I'm curious for an example

Thank you i appreciate the feedback hmm btw when you say it lack emotion or seems fake what exactly do you mean ?. I'm curious for an example .

maybe i shouldnt give advice, im not that good at this stuff. but i think it might be because of the writing, punctuation can change the meaning of a writing peice and makes the novel feel fake. Ill give an example of what it feels like. Lets eat mom! mom agreed it was about time to eat so they sat down and had dinner. in that thing the first sentance made me think the kid was gonna canibalise the mom but the rest of the story told me otherwise and it feels not good you know?

I see i think i understand for example: after finishing her Training. Eve used a towel to wipe away her sweat and took a bottle of water, she had set beside the towel before hand to Quench her Thirst. Would that be better less artificial more natural?.

i dont know if you should be taking out thoese things maybe just higher quality. e.g. the part where "the guy looked at eve apologetically to make his point" felt awkward please take what i say with a grain of salt

Thank you i appreciate both your insight and advice this will help me grow and has been very helpful.

Thank you i appreciate both your insight and advice this will help me grow and has been very helpful