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Review Detail of Her_Shadow in Primordial Serpent (Stopped)

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Her_Shadow
Her_ShadowLv44yrHer_Shadow

Hey... Like your story... it's a good read... Just think you need to add more details about the world. I start to crave it by the third chapter, and without it I don't really understand the explanations about the 'old monkey'. Even a few sentences in the second chapter about 'this world... is this...' a lot less direct then what I just wrote, but keep going! without the world the details don't mean as much... if I knew where the 'old monkey' was from, even a few words after the word monkey, I would understand where they met, and know more about the story...

altalt

Primordial Serpent (Stopped)

idkbeo

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idkbeo
idkbeoAuthoridkbeo

Thanks and it’s my second time writing a boom but I will try to add a few more details next time