Review Detail of sweetdeath in draft of my work

hello guys... im the author of this novel, thanks for the time reading this hehe... I wrote this novel to improve my grammar and english proficiency so you may really found it uninteresting hehe.. still, thank you... btw, if it happened that you read this, I would like to hear your thoughts about the story. i preferred to hear those painful and hurtful words that might improve me rather than the complements and sweet words that will only makes me boastful and prideful. if it is not a bother to you, i would like to hear your every suggestions on which should i improve hehe... and also, don't bother the MC, i designed him as a coward and a stupid character haha. you may really found him useless in a way, for he really don't use his head. but i like stupid people haha, although they are annoying always, they are funny sometimes of which they take away my loneliness whenever i see their stupidity.