webnovel
afire190
afire190Lv54yr
2020-07-23 05:56

Re:Akamachi is a fairly enjoyable fanfic with a premise I really like. However, the work could really use editing. There are numerous grammatical errors in each chapter, which significantly detracts from the reading experience. Furthermore, the work as a whole could use some editing. There are sections that are basically exposition or filler and could be cut and integrated more naturally into the storyline. I did enjoy this novel, but I dropped it at chapter 13 largely due to the lacking editing.

Re: Akimichi

Don_Paw
4.5
64 Chs

Liked by 3 people

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Replies1
Don_Paw
Don_PawAuthor

Well, thank you for reading so far^^ Thank you for your suggestion, I'm still trying to improve myself. Though I think my grammar was passable, but it seems that I need to learn a whole lot more... Btw, care to elaborate which sections that could be more integrated to the story? I need to start somewhere to improve~

4yr
Other Reviews
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4

SO far this is amazing and its unique [the 2 akamichi SI FF].....so far not much but interesting.......its cool MC dont have the SI knowledge...... suggestion: keep MC OP [he was a champion] dont neuter him....keep him OP .....give some BS powwa...ie: wood style?,....or sage mode [natural..not animal ****]....dont make him an idiot...keep him cool and smart..............also add some romance and fluff.....just build it.......if harem keep it small....just saying....maybe save karin and tatuya [tatuya,,, I think was sold as a slave by her parents when she was a kid....MC could save her?]............really want to see an akamichi FF where MC just fucks up all the other super powers.....screw teams and ****,,,,,,,,,,,,anyway....GL

5yr

Weirdo
WeirdoLv6

Five star for your rating... Accept my disgusting middle age man love and kiss... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

5yr
Light901
Light901Lv5

I get that you want to try to look for something funny to add to the story but what’s with him getting depressed about not being fat he should be happy that he’s becoming stronger faster and you should really do something about that because it’s getting really ridiculous that he keeps getting upset at not being fat but he can still use all of of his techniques that needed fat so there’s no downside why are you upset that you’re not fat

4yr
upward
upwardLv4

Nice story, a confident Chouji make a huge difference indeed! Plus a motivated Shikamaru and a non fangirl Ino! Keep it up Mr. Author, it would be perfect if you up the release rate!

4yr
PUJIT_FADTE_9415
PUJIT_FADTE_9415Lv3

DUDE I HOPE YOU WILL NOT DROP THIS NOVEL AND WILL CONTINUE WRITING IT AND WILL ALSO MAINTAIN THE UPDATE RATE NEW CHAPTERS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🔥🔥

4yr
Three_faced_God
Three_faced_GodLv14

I gave you this rating in good faith that it's as good I think it could be. I love the idea of an akimichi character getting more emphasis, and choji is very underrated along with his crew. Cheers author-san 😊

4yr
MadmanKentMorgan
MadmanKentMorganLv14

I'm just rating five stars because his name is Bob.

1yr
NoizJr
NoizJrLv5

There are some part that i personaly found lacking, like the earlier chapter..the foundation training ark will be interesting in its own way But well, its a good read compared to the rest in this web.. I recommend this...

4yr
xxvoid1310xx
xxvoid1310xxLv15

Pretty great just needs more stable development and progress at a steadier pace within the storyline. The focus on character development is moving along fairly well but it has some flaws within the complexity of the protagonist or main character based from how their decisions are based and made along with reactions and vocalization of their personalities.

4yr
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