Review Detail of ResidentialPsycho in New Hope Academy
Review detail
I love the concept, and it could make for a funny story. At this point, it's hard to see what direction the writer wants to take. There is no comedy or action so far. There is some drama. Other violent events were mentioned, they are completely off-screen, so no one should have a problem with them. If you are the faint of heart, don't worry--there's nothing graphic so far. It looks like it's going into magic and cultivation, but very little of either thing has been mentioned. It looks like it's supposed to give a dark feeling, but it doesn't do that or make me want to cheer for the protagonist at all. The traumatic events are brushed over pretty quickly. Background information? What's that? A little information has been revealed about the MC's parents, but it's provided in a manner of telling rather than showing. The details of past events are very vague, making them difficult to picture. World background? Not revealed yet. There is no character depth at all so far. The character details are essentially limited to male, female, mother, father, and mean person. I don't think there's been any imagery at all thus far except for describing the MC's appearance. A greater use of imagery could evoke a more emotional response in readers. Although the MC is an eight-year-old who is 4'11," the height of a small *****, no explanation is given for this. Although there are only six chapters so far, there are logical inconsistencies present already, especially in regards to character actions and the absent world setting. The writer uses "sh!t" a lot as a substitution for other words, making it feel very overused. I'm not sure if there's been a chapter thus far without this curse word. The writing quality could use some review. The events in the story could be expanded upon with more detail and elaboration to pull readers into the story. Everything happens so fast, it leaves me wondering what the point of anything was. Nearly every sentence has at least one obvious grammatical error or typo. Tenses flicker between past and present tense. There are also examples of passive tense, even in sentences important to the plot line. These types of errors are common to new writers. That said, the story is readable. Overall, I'd say the concept is interesting, but the follow-through needs some work.
New Hope Academy
816D35
Liked by 1 people
LIKEReplies15
Nice review, you've got there! I really thought that you're a professional. Well, if you have some time, do you want to check mine? I don't mind, if you give a really low rating, just give your thoughts.
ResidentialPsycho:*the height of a small ad.ult. I forgot this site censors bizarre words, and I can't edit my reviews here.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for the dedication and patience you had to write this beautifully penned review. All I have to say is that I will work harder to make the reading experience more enjoyable for everyone. The story is just starting, I hope with the help and guidance of all of you to be able to tell it the best way possible.
Sure. As long as it's not illiterate and is in English, it's fine. Neither Academy of Death nor Stress-Free Life are in English. I can review the others. I Wanted to Get Isekai'd has some weird paragraph spacing in the synopsis and in the first chapter. There are also grammatical problems and minimal elaboration. It's going to need a lot of work. I only skimmed through it, but I can give you a review later. The Correct Way of Idol Managing is much better. The drastic change in quality from the previous series is so significant, the writing could be mistaken to be from an entirely different person. The tone is the same, though. Just glancing through it, it looks like it could use some help with pacing, imagery, and character depth. There aren't nearly as many grammatical errors. Tiger Saber appears to have a quality that is a mix of the other two in the beginning, but it improves as it goes on. It looks like the plot is more developed, but I'd have to look it at more closely. This is what I got form a cursory glance at those series. Any series in particular you want me to review first? It looks like Idol is your main fic right now. Like I offered for 816D35, I can help you with editing ten chapters of a series, but you may want to wait until I write reviews for each of them before you choose one.
Kamatis:Nice review, you've got there! I really thought that you're a professional. Well, if you have some time, do you want to check mine? I don't mind, if you give a really low rating, just give your thoughts.
816D35:Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for the dedication and patience you had to write this beautifully penned review. All I have to say is that I will work harder to make the reading experience more enjoyable for everyone. The story is just starting, I hope with the help and guidance of all of you to be able to tell it the best way possible.
Thank you for your kind offer. You are so helpful, but I can't afford to accept your help because I want to improve my English and my writing.
ResidentialPsycho:Thank you. Let me know if you want my help with editing.
Well, I want you to review the The Correct Way Of Idol Managing first, because It's my main story right now. I appreciate the effort for typing such long words.
ResidentialPsycho:Sure. As long as it's not illiterate and is in English, it's fine. Neither Academy of Death nor Stress-Free Life are in English. I can review the others. I Wanted to Get Isekai'd has some weird paragraph spacing in the synopsis and in the first chapter. There are also grammatical problems and minimal elaboration. It's going to need a lot of work. I only skimmed through it, but I can give you a review later. The Correct Way of Idol Managing is much better. The drastic change in quality from the previous series is so significant, the writing could be mistaken to be from an entirely different person. The tone is the same, though. Just glancing through it, it looks like it could use some help with pacing, imagery, and character depth. There aren't nearly as many grammatical errors. Tiger Saber appears to have a quality that is a mix of the other two in the beginning, but it improves as it goes on. It looks like the plot is more developed, but I'd have to look it at more closely. This is what I got form a cursory glance at those series. Any series in particular you want me to review first? It looks like Idol is your main fic right now. Like I offered for 816D35, I can help you with editing ten chapters of a series, but you may want to wait until I write reviews for each of them before you choose one.
I will just list three of the biggest grammatical problems. 1) Past tense vs. present tense. Although past tense is used most commonly in stories written in English, present tense can also be used. However, they can not be used interchangeably. An example of past tense is "He went to the mall." An example of present tense is "He is going to the mall." When writing, it is important to choose one over the other and stick to it. 2) Dialogue. Example: "I just saw my sister down the street," he said. The comma at the end of the statement needs to be inside the quotes. Likewise, periods, question marks, and exclamation points all need to be inside the quotes. Colons are not used here. Each speaker should have a paragraph to himself or herself, and there should be a new paragraph when someone else speaks. Usually, the speech comes first, followed by he said/she said. The first letter in someone's speech needs to be capitalized. The rules for thoughts are the same, but they generally use italics rather than quotes. 3) There are a number of unnecessary hyphens. "Yao-clan" and the like don't need hyphens and can simply be written as "Yao Clan." There are other errors as well. GrammarBook is a good resource to look for various examples of English grammar: https://w ww.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp
816D35:Feel free, to guide me with your input anytime ;
ResidentialPsycho:I will just list three of the biggest grammatical problems. 1) Past tense vs. present tense. Although past tense is used most commonly in stories written in English, present tense can also be used. However, they can not be used interchangeably. An example of past tense is "He went to the mall." An example of present tense is "He is going to the mall." When writing, it is important to choose one over the other and stick to it. 2) Dialogue. Example: "I just saw my sister down the street," he said. The comma at the end of the statement needs to be inside the quotes. Likewise, periods, question marks, and exclamation points all need to be inside the quotes. Colons are not used here. Each speaker should have a paragraph to himself or herself, and there should be a new paragraph when someone else speaks. Usually, the speech comes first, followed by he said/she said. The first letter in someone's speech needs to be capitalized. The rules for thoughts are the same, but they generally use italics rather than quotes. 3) There are a number of unnecessary hyphens. "Yao-clan" and the like don't need hyphens and can simply be written as "Yao Clan." There are other errors as well. GrammarBook is a good resource to look for various examples of English grammar: https://w ww.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp
ResidentialPsycho:I will just list three of the biggest grammatical problems. 1) Past tense vs. present tense. Although past tense is used most commonly in stories written in English, present tense can also be used. However, they can not be used interchangeably. An example of past tense is "He went to the mall." An example of present tense is "He is going to the mall." When writing, it is important to choose one over the other and stick to it. 2) Dialogue. Example: "I just saw my sister down the street," he said. The comma at the end of the statement needs to be inside the quotes. Likewise, periods, question marks, and exclamation points all need to be inside the quotes. Colons are not used here. Each speaker should have a paragraph to himself or herself, and there should be a new paragraph when someone else speaks. Usually, the speech comes first, followed by he said/she said. The first letter in someone's speech needs to be capitalized. The rules for thoughts are the same, but they generally use italics rather than quotes. 3) There are a number of unnecessary hyphens. "Yao-clan" and the like don't need hyphens and can simply be written as "Yao Clan." There are other errors as well. GrammarBook is a good resource to look for various examples of English grammar: https://w ww.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp
Taimmh:This review is to die for. I really need someone to review my novel “World Though Blank Eyes” this deeply. If you have time, could you please review it for me? An honest review is all that I need.
Taimmh:This review is to die for. I really need someone to review my novel “World Though Blank Eyes” this deeply. If you have time, could you please review it for me? An honest review is all that I need.