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not_an_alien
not_an_alienLv34yr
2020-07-26 07:04

The story is quite nice so far, but I can tell that the characters personalities need to be polished and improved. Theres also a bit too much world background, we should only know what fenrir knows. To sum it up, I think it has great potential but it needs to polished.

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LupusDeus
LupusDeusAuthor

The world background was a personal writing choice that I had made. Other than that, I agree with everything that you said about character development which I am trying to work on more.

not_an_alien
not_an_alienLv3

Nice to see you're trying to improve the story. After that you might have to rewrite the first chapters to make this story even better.

LupusDeus:The world background was a personal writing choice that I had made. Other than that, I agree with everything that you said about character development which I am trying to work on more.
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