webnovel
avatar

Review Detail of Anime_Jewel_246 in Naruto: Ultimate Weapon

Review detail

Anime_Jewel_246
Anime_Jewel_246Lv13yrAnime_Jewel_246

So, I've read a few chapters, and I'm sorry to say, but I'm not very impressed. First off, the writing quality is quite poor, and makes it very difficult to read the story. The grammar is a little...off, should I say, and the use of dialogue tags could be used better. Mostly the tags were like this: -Eric or Eric: . There's also the fact that the story itself keeps switching between present tense and past tense. I understand if you struggle with that, considering I've read many stories where others have as well-including myself!-but, maybe try to reread it at least once before posting, so you catch any mistakes like this. Not to mention, a lot of the descriptions seem kind of dry. Or, if you want me to be more exact...the pacing is very...off. A bunch of important stuff happens way too fast, and it would make it very hard for readers to understand and remember anything that happens. The character is a bit unbelievable. And unrealistic. Yes, it is the Naruto world and the children in that world are insane to put it mildly, but at one year old, the MC baby is able to do exercises daily that even grown adults might struggle with. He also begins to rob stores...and it's...well, he's still technically a one year old. Yes, he might have the mentality of someone older because he was "reincarnated", but physically, he should not be able to do any of this. Also, his character's motives are bit confusing. He was reincarnated into the world of Naruto after being hit by a truck...and instead of trying to help anyone, he robs stores and laughs when he knows people are about to die? I'm assuming he's supposed to be a dark type of protagonist, but he isn't all that well built. He's mostly in a stereotypical-type of MC, and it's too cliche and overbearing. Back to the store thing...335,000 ryo? Seriously? I know people were kind of busy with running and being all scared, but how would nobody notice a one-year-old going and robbing a ton of stores and people's wallets? Also, he's kind of a jerk. For no reason. Make sure you at least try to build background information for your character so people at least understand his motives. Or, if you want his "backstory" to remain a secret until a specific moment, at least give a hint to a hidden backstory. Even a simple sentence can change a reader's thoughts on a character. Keep that in mind. And the story itself just feels like it's drawling itself out, considering there is no motives given as to what the MC is planning or doing. He's reincarnated...now what? Why does he need all these powers? Why the hell did he have to change his appearance, what, because he just wanted to? Is he supposed to be liked or not? Considering the story plot seems to surround itself on the MC, if you make the MC bad, it will one-hundred percent, without a shadow of a doubt, affect your plot. Apologies, but the only good thing I have to say is that the updates seem pretty stable and well-done. Roughly three-four chapters a day is not bad, just it feels the chapters themselves are kind of rushed. ~Jewel

altalt

Naruto: Ultimate Weapon

Webmonger

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!