webnovel
IWANTMYDINNER
IWANTMYDINNERLv104yr
2020-02-04 13:25

Overall, good ****. It’s interesting to see a fantasy story that takes place in a setting that isn’t an academy or a standard fantasy world. Magic system is unique and interesting.

Throne of Steam

FakeMagician
4.7
35 Chs

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
FakeMagician
FakeMagicianAuthor

Hello everyone! I'm ToS writer, and honestly, I don't have much experience writing and would like to ask for your honest feedback! Please help me grow while we witness Garett's journey together!

4yr

IvanTheFool
IvanTheFoolLv4

From what I've read until this moment, it shows promise. A lot of it. I'm not really taking into consideration the "vagueness" of it all. It's more a question of pacing and story development than an issue with the story itself. Waiting eagerly for the next chapters.

4yr
Shirousz
ShirouszLv5

While the world background is still foggy and the writing is sometimes difficult to read, it's a solid job! I hope for frequent updates and wish for the best. It always feels wonderful to help new, budding authors.

4yr
DucdeMassac
DucdeMassacLv1

As I read every chapter, I could notice, slowly but surely, at least something more subtle about the worldbuilding creeping in. This applies for the character development, too. Expect to read more.

4yr
Aida_Brown
Aida_BrownLv1

Hi there! Are you looking for inspiration? You might want to check out our Prompts Writing contest! Apocalypse, Isekai, LitRPG... Follow the three provided prompts and take the chance to win up to $2,000! Please Google 70daysthemedwritingchallenge to find out more! This contest is free entry and open to any writer at any country. If you had any query, please feel free to contact ringdom_promptswriting@hotmail.com Good luck for writing!

4yr
Kenlinvert_Z
Kenlinvert_ZLv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact avarohm_review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

4yr
MassacaTheChosen
MassacaTheChosenLv2

(Locked myself out of my other account. Please, bear with me.) Reading through it all again, I now noticed some tidbits about the worldbuilding that I hadn't seen before. All in all, a really solid and promising story.

4yr
afire190
afire190Lv5

I feel there is a good deal of promise here. I feel a real Lord of the Mysteries vibe from this work, which can, if the author uses it well, be a great background for a story. One criticism regarding writing technique is that the author continuously switches between first and third person from sentence to sentence. It's important to stick to one or the other. If a statement is an internal monologue or thought, it should be demarcated as such in some way, either with quotes or perhaps italics.

4yr
Gabriella_x
Gabriella_xLv13

Reveal spoiler

4yr
Related Stories

The Female Leads Truly Loves You

Sam unexpectedly acquired a dating simulation game named "The Female leads Truly Loves You". He was quickly captivated by the game, which featured numerous beautiful female leads. Crucially, it was a harem-style game where the mc could maintain romantic relationships with various female leads and engage in sexual relations with them. Just when Sam thought achieving sexual relationships with these female leads was the game's goal, the ending shocked him profoundly. When all the female leads discovered the male protagonist's love for multiple girls, they exhibited inexplicably insane behavior. True to the game's title, "The Female Leads Truly Loves You", each one wanted to possess the male lead exclusively. The crazed female leads resorted to extreme measures, killing the male protagonist. They dismembered his body and preserved it in formalin. They decapitated him and kept his head by their pillows to accompany them in sleep forever. They drained his blood to create a specimen, ensuring they could see their beloved male lead every morning. ... Realizing his fate would be death, Sam chose to avoid these female leads. However, they seemed to possess magical abilities, always finding him using various means. Fortunately, Sam had a system. By thoroughly conquering these female leads, he could avoid the deadly ending and even gain enhanced abilities.

Cadwaladr · Urban
4.7
448 Chs

Found 100 Million In My Rented Apartment

# RELAXED On the day he entered university, the navigation system on his phone started to have the function to automatically search for treasures. Every time he found a treasure, he would be able to receive a lot of rewards. “92kg of embezzled products detected. The reward for completing the treasure hunt: 100 million mansions by the Sky Lake.” “The top celebrity, Xia Qiu, will run into danger soon. The reward for completing fate hunt: 100 million cash.” “5kg gold detected. The reward for completing treasure hunt: 60% stock of Distant Publishing that’s worth 600 million.” With the continuous treasure hunts automatically detected on his phone and obtaining the rewards from the hunts, Ye Feng said, “From today onwards, I’ll be the most pretentious bastard.”

Supreme Yi Fan · Urban
3.2
1993 Chs

Recently Dumped by Gold-Digger, Goddess Asked Me to Sign a Birth Consent Form

Just as Ye Fan got dumped by a gold-digger, he received a call from the hospital. Little did he expect that, ten months ago on one fateful night, he and his crush Bai Susu did something unspeakable... From that moment on, he embarked on the path of a doting dad... Pampering his wife, spoiling his kids... Unlimited affection! "Hello, Mr. Ye Fan, your wife is about to give birth in the hospital, hurry over to sign the paperwork!" An urgent voice sounded from the phone. "What, what's going on, kid, and wife?" Ye Fan was utterly bewildered at that moment. ... Just got dumped, then his biggest crush came knocking on his door. From then on, he embarked on the journey of spoiling his wife, spoiling his kids, unlimitedly! They had a grand wedding, everyone in town joined in the love fest! As the saying went, good things should be shared together, not alonel! So, let's all enjoy the love fest together!

Silly Little Bok Choy · Urban
4.0
642 Chs

Into the Pornverse

【 Warning: Mature Content R-18 】 Jack discovers an app that gives him the power to charm any woman he wants. From powerful CEOs and influential political leaders to enigmatic personal secretaries and alluring actresses, no one can resist his charm. Join Jack on an exhilarating adventure as he skillfully navigates a captivating world, effortlessly attracting alluring mercenaries, enigmatic maids, and even dangerously seductive mafia bosses, all of whom become his devoted allies. Jack's SUDIX App Profile: Name: Jack Age: 25/85 (Extra life: $1 million/year) Height: 6'2" Attributes: Stamina: 10 (Maximum) Endurance: 10 (Maximum) Charm: 10 (Maximum) Abilities: Fiery Eyes Ability: This ability allows the user (often depicted in fictional contexts) to visualize sensitive points on women's bodies, revealing areas that may elicit heightened responses or sensations. Conception Control Ability: The power to intentionally decide whether a woman gets pregnant during sexual intercourse. Lust Demon: Grants the user the power to make any woman surrender completely after one encounter if they ejaculate inside her.[This Ability also has some hidden functions ] Women: (Count of women who are under his spell) Enjoy the ride; it's going to be a wild one! Exciting New Chapters! 2 Chapters Released Daily Chapter Release Times: Chapter 1: Available Daily at 10:00 AM (GMT +8) Chapter 2: Available Daily at 9:30 PM (GMT +8) Get Ready to Dive Into the World of "Into the Pornverse"! You Can Join Me on Discord https://discord.gg/cNazpAgZvt

PranjalSinghK · Urban
Not enough ratings
94 Chs
Login