webnovel
Sage_Honos
Sage_HonosLv143yr
2021-09-20 06:11

I have no clue what I'm reading 90% of the time. you seem to be trying so hard to make this seem like an original story.... but it's a fan fic, simple as that, so making it so confusing and convoluted. no need for some overly complex grand design. 22 chapters in and the story has barley anything to do with douluo. of your going to make a douluo fanfic then do that. this isn't your original world stop making it so complex as if this was an original story. ruins the whole purpose of it being a fanfic. otherwise take out the douluo stuff, and make an original world and sick with it, or get rid of the weird af system and multiple reincarnators and trial candidates or what ever the heck is going on here. it just doesn't work. fanfics are ment to use original works and twist it around, while your trying to make an original work and add other non original stuff into it.

[.Dropped.]

SirDemiLich
4.5
22 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies1
Sage_Honos
Sage_HonosLv14

now if the douluo stuff is removed, this will make a great original concept. but I came here expecting douluo! and got 1 spirit beast scene, one spirit master scene for about a grand total of 1/3 of a chapter worth of douluo content. and where already 22 chapters in 🧐

3yr
Other Reviews
SirDemiLich
SirDemiLichAuthor

Hi! Author here leaving an honest review. I want to improve my writing because I knew this is mediocre and I want to make it better. I use too much exposition and find that I can’t write good conversations. there will probably be a lot of inconsistencies because as much as I try to note down all of the information that I use (seriously I have like 16 pages of notes for like the first 30-40 chapters) I will inevitably forget something. Pls give your suggestions on how I should improve, I take criticism well so do your worst. (P.S I will write a chapter ever 1-2 weeks and I should have around 2k words per chapter, no promises to either of those though *teehee*)

4yr

carnivorusbrain
carnivorusbrainLv4

Full support. Please more author. More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more!!

4yr
GreatLoveImmortale
GreatLoveImmortaleLv1

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE

2yr
Razikiel
RazikielLv3

Full support and more chapters please....Nayssuuuuuuuuu.MoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMoreMore

3yr
Katheriner
KatherinerLv1

Hey there! Here are some web novel recommendations for whom share the same taste with me. If you like this story, my recommendations are worth a try! https://docs.google.com/document/d/19R5KkqHOOHSMDkF4fHscVmxWcYGh0OntYsv8NglzsQo/edit?usp=sharing

4yr
Daoist1rvBov
Daoist1rvBovLv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

4yr
ken_ringdomstory
ken_ringdomstoryLv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact kenreview@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.

4yr
ManGanu
ManGanuLv5

Nice story But mc in dd1 or dd2 or what Need more update if author want this story top 50 Hdhsuwwuwhsgeueududieheejeisiwhsue7dueuehwusiwheuw7w7dysuehdue8euwhwydyeueudyd7wudhehduejdjsiduw7sywuaishsududhwjdjdududjeueueuejsudueididud7dyduehwhdudududjehdududududhuddhdududusudheuduusudduuee7fuhddjehjdjdjdjejdjdjd

4yr
Bala_Prakash
Bala_PrakashLv4

Good..........don't drop the novel 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌..........................................................................

4yr
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