Review Detail of dahnik in Shield Hero's Slow Harem Life
Review detail
Keep the chapters coming! :-) Writing - minuscule and rare spelling mistakes, but there is one thing you could improve. Your conversations have a rather bad format (NAME - "Conversation"), it's okayish, but IMO there is a better way to do it. ---- Ex. "Let's do it tonight!" Hiro said with a smirk on his face. "Do you mean THAT?!" asked Eclair with a big blush on her face. ---- I think it's way more professional to do it this way :-) I don't have anything bad to say about anything else, maybe too much sugar in a couple of the latest chapters :-) But it's a sense of style, your book your rules :-). All in all - a good job!
Shield Hero's Slow Harem Life
I_love_Rem
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I understand what you mean. It's possible you learned that way from dramas/scenes, like Romeo&Juliet by W.Shakespeare. This type of format allows for the actors to play the out story on scene. It was very popular style in classical stories - so it's heavly worked through in schools ;-). The format I wrote about is more used in modern stories :-) As for me, I'm not native english speaker, I learned everything by watching firstly cartoons, than movies and games in english. When I started my english study in my 6th year of primary school I was going through Tolkien's stories in english. When my classmates were parroting through "I am, you are, he she it is..." I wasn't really paying attention :-) So I'm mostly self-taught ;-). It's your call what style you will write in, both are acceptable, I just gave you an advice :-) P.S. I wrote it on my phone, I'm too scared to look what monstronsities the autocorrect had done ;-)
For me it's better to do it like Eclair-"Do you mean that" Since you know who is speaking before you read the entire speech instead of the other way the reviewer should about in which you find out who spoke it at the end
Sommerscave:I write that way cause I learn so in school but for stories in English which isn’t my first language I learned Name “Conversations” did you learn any other language besides English? Maybe that’s where you’re preference comes from.
dahnik:I understand what you mean. It's possible you learned that way from dramas/scenes, like Romeo&Juliet by W.Shakespeare. This type of format allows for the actors to play the out story on scene. It was very popular style in classical stories - so it's heavly worked through in schools ;-). The format I wrote about is more used in modern stories :-) As for me, I'm not native english speaker, I learned everything by watching firstly cartoons, than movies and games in english. When I started my english study in my 6th year of primary school I was going through Tolkien's stories in english. When my classmates were parroting through "I am, you are, he she it is..." I wasn't really paying attention :-) So I'm mostly self-taught ;-). It's your call what style you will write in, both are acceptable, I just gave you an advice :-) P.S. I wrote it on my phone, I'm too scared to look what monstronsities the autocorrect had done ;-)
KuroHyoudou:For me it's better to do it like Eclair-"Do you mean that" Since you know who is speaking before you read the entire speech instead of the other way the reviewer should about in which you find out who spoke it at the end