Review Detail of YourNarrator in I'll become a villain in my next life

Hi it's me, your narrator. It would be a solid book if you actually read your draft twice. Before I criticise you, I want to say that the book would be good if you had a editor. First, there are no periods. Second, some words are not fully formed, and some sentences don't have commas where their are supposed to be. Third, it literally says, chapter one of chapter one. I literally can't read it without cringing.