Review Detail of Soridida in DROPped

This story is good. But it could be better. Writer is on the good way and uses action and reaction really well. The characters reacts very humanly and emotions are on point. But I personally have 3 problems with the way the story is written: 1. Pacing: events happens quickly, almost too quickly. There is almost no foreshadowing and even if there are there are negligible and too quickly resolved. There is no mystery in story only shock and reveal. 2. Character description: characters are flat... We don't really know how do they look, how do they dress, what accessories do they use. Such details tell a lot about persons and can help with immersion. For example the first time Xiang see Suho's foto, he describes him as beautiful like from anime, the second time we learn that Suho is taller than Xiang, then that he resembles his mother (his sister also). We don't learn if he has short hair, what colour hair is, is it long enought to grab it or what he wears daily(could be described as Xiang describing how good he looks in that clothes). The only thing we learn of Xiang is that he wears hoodie and yeans daily and that he is beautiful... We don't even learn how his real family looks or how he visually resembles them. Even other characters should be described, maybe in a way that it would portray them as rich and spoiled whrny they are not. 3. And events descriptions are rushed which lowers emotional investment of readers. For example in the first chapter it could be described how happy he was in amusement park, what rides he went on and how his parents acted(fairly sweet), how he felt when he went looking for ice cream and when he was hit what colour the car was. Another one is that after he woke up in the hospital he know where he was and was strangely calm. If a child who never left home, had almost no normal interaction and for sure was never in a hospital wouldn't be so calm and almost uninjured. He wouldn't trust strangers and would probably take really good look at his environment and people around (missing descriptions for immersion). Also in the chapter where Suho gets hurt there could be more description of the scene, for example attacker could be described as short or tall and what he did when he missed his target (how he left the scene) and the injury could be described more in depth like blood dripping and how when they got to the hospital (with what? Car? Taxi?) were both covered in it. How it was uncomfortable waiting with blood soaked clothes for the doctor, the panic of parent how they came, maybe even dressed if they were untidy or incompletely dressed. All in all the story is good but is missing details in scenes. Additionally I would love if the characters affections or dislike is shown with gestures characters often do, example caressing fingers, patting head(could describe the hair type) , eye rolls, glaring, smirking, blowing kisses, smelling clothes(borrowed scarf, pyjama, sweater)... Don't give up writing and always improve!