Review Detail of GianP in My Dragon System
Review detail
So I should leave a review since I had great hope for this novel, but was disappointed. I will list the problems: 1. Grammar ...simply, it sucks. I can understand that English is not the author's first language, but there are like 10 grammar mistakes each chapter. Please, use a proofreader it's really distracting from the story. There, they're and their are different. Please learn it. 2. Writing style The limites of the language hits hard in the style department. Since the author doesn't master the language, phrases are always linear and simple, concepts are expressed one at a time etc... This impacts the story since it seems the actors themselves are basic. 3. Plot holes, world building, etc I understand you don't want infodumps, and you also don't want to spoiler the story but... Seriously, try to give a reason for things happening, and not at chapter 1000 since people will not arrive there. Sen is acting like a true 5 yo even being a 1000 yo dragon. Is there a good reason? Maybe. Without explaining, or even an hypotesis, this is simply a plot hole. Whatever is inside the mind of the author doesn't count, only what is written. And don't go "but normal books can explain after 200 pages, why can't I?" Normal books are supposed to be perfect in language use, have been read and revisited multiple time by the author and the editor team, so the reader is somewhat assured that the story is somewhat decent. On webnovel the author publishes BEFORE finishing the story and often before checking for errors. Maybe in chapter 300 the author is like "oooops for plot reason I need this in chapter 30... Too bad it's already published. Let's hope nobody notices" while in a normal book you would go and modify chapter 30 to be coherent. Now, I have gone for a bit of a rant here. TL;DR: the story is simple but ha potential... Wasted because of poor English and oversimplification
My Dragon System
JKSManga
Liked by 42 people
LIKEReplies13
Actually English is my first language and I am from the Uk, I am actually an English teacher as well. The problem is that I have to write chapters daily for all three of my novels, which doesn't give me much time to catch the mistakes. Of course, I know the difference between over there, their things and They are. In the summer, i can go back and change this. I don't know how far you got but it was my first time writing a novel in first person which was why it was hard for me to fully express myself. later on, I change the story to the third person and the writing gets a lot better and more descriptive. Multiple people have brought up the plot holes at the begging but honestly, the only thing people don't like is the fact that they expected the MC to act one way when the MC doesn't; I:e like some ancient dragon instead of a five Year old. This is explained later on but I am unsure whether or not I should go back and edit because right now more people like the story then don't. Thank you for the detailed review. And will fix the grammar mistakes once I get my summer holiday break.
Thank you for your reply. I'm at chapter 66. The final thing that pushed me to write this review was the decision to go to the red door. I mean, Sen just saw a "white glowing ball" that tells him "I will tell you my secrets" and BAM he's ready to risk everything to go there, without reason. Don't get me wrong when I said he doesn't act like a 1000 yo dragon. I don't want or expect him to be bloodthirsty or cruel. I'm totally fine with him gradually liking humanity. I also don't dislike the slow development (of the story or his powers) as other people commented. What pushes me off is an unimmersive character that takes unbelievable actions because plot demands it. If you say the story will receive a grammar check after the summer... Maybe I will try again then, and change the review :)
So, as promised I'm interested in coming back... did you have the possibility to correct the early mistakes? I'm interested, but otherwise I wwill old off from this novel :)
JKSManga:Actually English is my first language and I am from the Uk, I am actually an English teacher as well. The problem is that I have to write chapters daily for all three of my novels, which doesn't give me much time to catch the mistakes. Of course, I know the difference between over there, their things and They are. In the summer, i can go back and change this. I don't know how far you got but it was my first time writing a novel in first person which was why it was hard for me to fully express myself. later on, I change the story to the third person and the writing gets a lot better and more descriptive. Multiple people have brought up the plot holes at the begging but honestly, the only thing people don't like is the fact that they expected the MC to act one way when the MC doesn't; I:e like some ancient dragon instead of a five Year old. This is explained later on but I am unsure whether or not I should go back and edit because right now more people like the story then don't. Thank you for the detailed review. And will fix the grammar mistakes once I get my summer holiday break.
actually no I didn't, I think during that time I made a new no el that went to rank one on the site and has been ever since I have been.focusing on.writjng new chapters for both series and haven't had time to go back and correct。 although I did recently quit my job so now am a full time author. by recently I mean 2 days ago
GianP:So, as promised I'm interested in coming back... did you have the possibility to correct the early mistakes? I'm interested, but otherwise I wwill old off from this novel :)
Congratulations for the now full time job as an author are in order then! Good luck with your life then, and I hope you will find the time to polish your stories and have a quality over quantity philosophy (but I can understand that many people prefer the other way) .
JKSManga:actually no I didn't, I think during that time I made a new no el that went to rank one on the site and has been ever since I have been.focusing on.writjng new chapters for both series and haven't had time to go back and correct。 although I did recently quit my job so now am a full time author. by recently I mean 2 days ago
JKSManga:actually no I didn't, I think during that time I made a new no el that went to rank one on the site and has been ever since I have been.focusing on.writjng new chapters for both series and haven't had time to go back and correct。 although I did recently quit my job so now am a full time author. by recently I mean 2 days ago
JKSManga:Actually English is my first language and I am from the Uk, I am actually an English teacher as well. The problem is that I have to write chapters daily for all three of my novels, which doesn't give me much time to catch the mistakes. Of course, I know the difference between over there, their things and They are. In the summer, i can go back and change this. I don't know how far you got but it was my first time writing a novel in first person which was why it was hard for me to fully express myself. later on, I change the story to the third person and the writing gets a lot better and more descriptive. Multiple people have brought up the plot holes at the begging but honestly, the only thing people don't like is the fact that they expected the MC to act one way when the MC doesn't; I:e like some ancient dragon instead of a five Year old. This is explained later on but I am unsure whether or not I should go back and edit because right now more people like the story then don't. Thank you for the detailed review. And will fix the grammar mistakes once I get my summer holiday break.
mistakes happen people are human after all. good book can't put it down but can't afford to keep paying to read it. nora roberts books where the only ones I couldn't put down untill now. but I'm on a fixed income so I came only read one page at a time now untill I get a fast pass or something.
JKSManga:actually no I didn't, I think during that time I made a new no el that went to rank one on the site and has been ever since I have been.focusing on.writjng new chapters for both series and haven't had time to go back and correct。 although I did recently quit my job so now am a full time author. by recently I mean 2 days ago
JKSManga:Actually English is my first language and I am from the Uk, I am actually an English teacher as well. The problem is that I have to write chapters daily for all three of my novels, which doesn't give me much time to catch the mistakes. Of course, I know the difference between over there, their things and They are. In the summer, i can go back and change this. I don't know how far you got but it was my first time writing a novel in first person which was why it was hard for me to fully express myself. later on, I change the story to the third person and the writing gets a lot better and more descriptive. Multiple people have brought up the plot holes at the begging but honestly, the only thing people don't like is the fact that they expected the MC to act one way when the MC doesn't; I:e like some ancient dragon instead of a five Year old. This is explained later on but I am unsure whether or not I should go back and edit because right now more people like the story then don't. Thank you for the detailed review. And will fix the grammar mistakes once I get my summer holiday break.
Yes the book is complete but it's part of a trilogy series. My Dragon My werewolf My vampire but if you want to read them in release order My dragon My vampire My werewolf
gemivap157:Is the book finished? All I see is the chapter 533 is the end and it is not increasing.
JKSManga:Actually English is my first language and I am from the Uk, I am actually an English teacher as well. The problem is that I have to write chapters daily for all three of my novels, which doesn't give me much time to catch the mistakes. Of course, I know the difference between over there, their things and They are. In the summer, i can go back and change this. I don't know how far you got but it was my first time writing a novel in first person which was why it was hard for me to fully express myself. later on, I change the story to the third person and the writing gets a lot better and more descriptive. Multiple people have brought up the plot holes at the begging but honestly, the only thing people don't like is the fact that they expected the MC to act one way when the MC doesn't; I:e like some ancient dragon instead of a five Year old. This is explained later on but I am unsure whether or not I should go back and edit because right now more people like the story then don't. Thank you for the detailed review. And will fix the grammar mistakes once I get my summer holiday break.
Quinn without a doubt, He is now literally a god with a lot of followers and he can go toe to toe with other gods.
YoungDagger22:hi, question Who is stronger, quinn or gary?