Review Detail of Umm in Demoness's Concept Of Justice

It's an interesting story with intriguing characters...but there is plenty of room for improvement. Capitalization is a problem, as well as comma usage and sentences that last for multiple paragraphs. A bigger issue, though, would be the placement. A sentence can mean different things based on where the punctuation is, so that should be kept in mind. For the story, it has a bit of a problem with agency. Things happen to the MC instead of the other way around. They make the trajectory of the story feel uncertain, which is bad over an extended period of time.