webnovel
Condemned
CondemnedLv45yr
2019-12-14 18:18

Good start, good premise. The only problem is that your usage of the past tense is wrong, and i think you have this misconception that whenever something is in 3rd person perspective, everything will be written in past tense. That is not entirely correct. Anyway, i love the character development and the world building. Perhaps, spice up the story with some unexpected events. Good luck!

My WeChat Got a Plug-In (On Hiatus)

Venerable_Linfeng
4.5
37 Chs

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Other Reviews
HorizonCrown
HorizonCrownLv4

I really love this book........ Start is nice l....... Grammmer is also good....... This book is like RED ENVELOPE GROUP OF THREE REALMS, ........ . . I really love this......worth to read this.......

5yr

JOATDemon
JOATDemonLv14

I like the story so far and I hop the story stays good and the author continues the story unlike some of the authors that give up halfway and end up losing ther fans because of it and I think this story can go a long way

5yr
Creamyop
CreamyopLv10

5 star ,cause this novel make me laugh so hard,, keep it up author ,,nice work 😍😍😍😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

5yr
DarkKnight32
DarkKnight32Lv6

You every day Chinese novel where everyone has a iq of 10 nothing different or interesting same plot as every other novel, young masters at every corner face slapping revenge from older brother father etc. You know the tipical **** im disappointed that you couldn't change even a bit im more suprised you used modern day time but used the word slave in dialogs it's like you copy pasting the most iconic cultivation young masters line???😑 im disappointed this could be a lot more then this.

5yr
ExpSectFounder
ExpSectFounderLv11

.......................................................................................................there are some mistakes but the story is nice, please update more.........................................................................................................

5yr
Rairaidani
RairaidaniLv14

So far good bro! Modern Timeline, have system, cultivator, martial art, romance or maybe you wanna go harem? Remind me Returning from the immortal world, but far from it cause mc got no system and the ending kinda suck there I just hope you dont end up like all mainstream ff. And add more comedy or something like face slapping? Keep it up, give us more chap please lol

5yr
Nani009
Nani009Lv14

If you are stopping in the very start itself then, you shouldn't have started to write the damn novel. And it doesn't take much to update a chapter occasionally...

4yr
Saarlink
SaarlinkLv5

The story is just...bland. No one has any character to them, they are cardboard cutouts at best. The world is seemingly the same as ours so it isn't interesting. The plot and events are all very cliche and normal. I tried a few times to get through more chapters to see if there was something better behind this but it is just more of the same. There isn't anything terrible about this story. It is readable just boring.

5yr
Nucker
NuckerLv5

Reveal spoiler

5yr
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