Review Detail of Gourmet_DAO in SCEPTIX: THE LEGEND OF MAGIC

HONEST REVIEW! The beginning is intriguing, like from science fiction novels, something like "Some kind of scientific railgun with Misaka Misaka." But questions immediately arise. I wonder about the cane, what is in this purple ball? Magic cane? The magic staff? What role does color play? Probably worth explaining to the reader? Test tube - homuncle? So is it an "All-Metal Alchemist"? It just causes such associations, maybe the tube should be called otherwise, for example, as a capsule? Glare? Maybe you should look at the tesaruis of emotions? And then write a description of "ferocity." So that the reader can guess that the hero looked at the heroine "fiercely." A new dialogue about the red star, appears from nowhere. What is the red country? Are there any other countries? Dialogues jump from one to the third. To build a beautiful dialogue, understandable, logical, is immediately difficult. If only the old man came out, and then an emergency situation began, why didn’t the old man come back? Usually in laboratories, there are clear instructions on what to do in extreme cases. Nobody will run like in films, everyone knows what they should do. That is, job descriptions, safety instructions, instructions for what to do in emergency situations. The exercises are held. Therefore, the described situation seems strange. Scientists are cooler than the old man? The first chapter caused me many questions, but the story seems fascinating, vampires, scientists, some girl, a laboratory ?! Interestingly, if an emergency occurred, then why didn’t it become known to Noah? Why did they all sit quietly in the conference room? There is something wrong with the building security system. Each scientific laboratory, and especially a closed laboratory, has its own security service, which provides security and monitoring of the situation. Supervisors are immediately notified when a dangerous situation arises. Scientists and magicians ?! Intriguing! Why do worlds lose their balance? It is unclear who is this girl at all? Is she so powerful? Why is she so afraid and still alive? There are no descriptions of magicians, their powers, what colors mean, what a scepter's magician means, the world is not described, the structure of the world is not clear to the reader, what forces are in the world, how is cultivation from the bottom to the top. That is, it turns out that the world in which the heroes live is completely incomprehensible. If it were realism, then by default people know what it is. But the magical world, it is entirely yours, the author, we readers do not know anything about it. Therefore, you need a more detailed description of the world, the nature of the heroes. This is a big minus in the novel. All the names of the heroes should be spelled out in an additional chapter, at the beginning of chapter 1, so that readers have an idea who all these people are? But here you need to be able to find a balance so that there is not too much explanatory text, since it distracts the reader's attention from the novel itself. But the story itself is interesting, it manifests itself from the middle of the second chapter, the story itself begins to be revealed, maybe this is my opinion, not a pro, but maybe it would be worth the second chapter to be made the first? Oh ... and where does the blue kimono? Then wait, what were they all wearing? Kimono? Why not bathrobes? Costumes? Namely a kimono? Do the colors of the rain play a role? What rules do magicians have? Are we talking about them, readers don’t know anything at all? !!!! Oh, dark magicians? !!! Author, why don’t you give a description of the world? Who lives in it? what forces? What kind of magicians? What is their contradiction? Why was an alliance formed and against whom? Wow! What a conference ?! Guests do not respect the owners, the allies attack each other. With such friends and enemies is not necessary! Wind eagle sword? Ohhhh! Then you need to give a description of the types of weapons in each country! What are their characteristics and ranks. Since the name of the weapon is high-profile, they are shocking, but they do not tell the reader anything about the sword itself. Why is it called so and not otherwise? And here again, strange! Previously, magicians called themselves by name, but then suddenly names appeared ?! For what? Does eye color matter to magicians? Why, then, the author did not describe earlier what magicians look like? Many questions. but I don’t see the answers yet. But it’s good that there are questions, then the novel is interesting. Something the conflict very quickly ended ?! Who is Lain? The transition is too unexpected. And the chapter seems too long. I read to the third chapter. What to say? The novel is interesting, the idea is great, there is intrigue, the story unfolds from the second or third chapter. She seems to be fantastically fascinating. However, there are also disadvantages. The world is not described. Characters of heroes are not given. It is necessary to immediately entice the reader from the first chapter, since he can leave without reaching an interesting place, not realizing that the novel is not boring but really has a chance to become popular. General assessment, it is subjective, my personal. For the idea of ​​the novel, I would put 8 stars out of 10 possible, the general text is 7 stars, but the absence of a description of the world is 4 stars. Final rating 4 stars. It’s probably worth rewriting the song chapters. But here is the author’s own business, when I personally began to rewrite 6 chapters, it took me 2 weeks. At this time, I could not update chapters on other novels. Readers began to leave. So this is a moot point about rewriting chapters. To the author of good luck, in general, the novel seemed to me interesting, fascinating. Thanks for your work. Usually when you read a novel for swap reviews, sometimes you regret your time spent, since novels are far from being the most interesting, and sometimes simply boring. But your novel was interesting, not ordinary, not stamping, but with its own plot! For what you as the author a huge respect! I was happy to spend my time reading your novel. I hope you manage to improve it and make it more fun!