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SSBGoditz
SSBGoditzLv45yr
2019-11-02 15:52

There are frequent grammar mistakes and tense changes, but not so much that it detracts from the writing. The prose itself seemed a bit dull and boring. There was nothing that drew me in, and I had to force myself to read the 1st (2nd) chapter. I found the prologue unnecessary, though I guess it served as a sort of buffer between the source and this fanfic. POV is sometimes messed up, and a general lack of description and sensory detail meant the world (if I can even call it a world) lacked depth, uniqueness and a lived-in feel. All in all, events seemed to happen for the sake of happening, with not much emphasis placed on the importance of said events for the POV character. A focus on telling events also led to a lack of description. Characters... I can't say much, except that the one character introduced thus far seemed rather dull. As for world design, the novel seems to want to focus on the in-game Glory world (evident in the introduction of VR) but again, the overuse of 'telling' meant it fell short. Overall rating is 3.2.

New Age of Glory The King's Avatar Fan-fic

Lin_XiaoLong
4.7
25 Chs

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Other Reviews
IdiomCushion
IdiomCushionLv13

What an enjoyable fanfic. The writing is good and the characters are on point. Not to mention the humor is sooo funny, just like TKA itself. I am so excited about the upcoming chapters, it'll surely be even better. Thank you so much for writing this, author. ♥♥♥♥♥

5yr

Jas_Chia
Jas_ChiaLv3

Reveal spoiler

5yr
KindredSpirit
KindredSpiritLv6

It's really good you got the essence of the Old Characters and you have a solid base on the New characters. It's also intersting on how you will write on how Ye Xiu will teach the MC.

5yr
Condemned
CondemnedLv4

I love how you were able to display Shaotian's attitude almost similar to TKA. His in-game trashtalking and shamelessness was there and the other characters were fairly developed but not that much, but still I gave full marks for Character Design. I also noticed that you tend to skip the fighting scenes or perhaps fast forward the specific fight scene. I don't know why, but I guess you are quite uncomfortable writing said scene, but the thing here is that TKA focused on this scenes, thus making your version quite lacking with regards to this. As for the quality of writing, well there were inconsistencies on the tenses, but it's not that much and is still understandable. Suggestion: If you want to enhance your fight scenes, read Er Gen's book "Pursuit of the Truth". I hope this could help

5yr
ETERNALDOIAST
ETERNALDOIASTLv10

Reveal spoiler

5yr
Endrik
EndrikLv4

What an enjoyableeee fanficcc thee writing iss good inn the characters areee onn pointt 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

5yr
DragonKnight
DragonKnightLv3

Interesting premise. Hoping to see more. The story seems to be a bit slow, but I'm willing to wait and see if it'll pick up. The battle scene is also alright so far. Though I can see that the author seems to want to avoid writing it. Probably not confident. Other than that, it is good! Really recommend others to try. **: I like the twins so far!

5yr
TianYa
TianYaLv5

Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop! Love it. Keep it up. Don't drop!

5yr
Kira09
Kira09Lv15

Reveal spoiler

5yr
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