Review Detail of TheSimpleGamer in The Gluttonus Beast

Simple here, this is my first time making a novel and I hope it comes out good or at least entertaining. I make mistakes because I just had to go back and rewrite the synopsis and this review, to correct it and a few other things. I have school still so I don't know have my updates will be but I know it will at least be 1 Chp a week or at best 1 a day. Criticism is needed and wanted.