Review Detail of Kari_Rakitan in The Day You Conquered the World

I'm glad you're writing in second person. That's rare and lots of fun to read. In fact, I'd kinda like to rewrite mine in second person, but I have a few scenes where the female protagonist is not present, so I'm sticking with third. Exposition is overrated. Too much of it puts readers to sleep, so jumping straight into the action is a good move. As it stands, you present a very exciting story.