Review Detail of MokouFriedChicken in To Reach You

Let's try this again. Let's cut to the chase. Your dialogue is excellent. Keep doing what you're doing with that. What I will change is the garnish around said dialogue. Actions speak louder than words, which ironically still applies even in writing. Try describing the cadence, their tone, off hand mannerisms, whenever they say something important or impactful. It'll give their statements a bit more oomph to it. You might want to find the infographic for all the words that can replace 'said' depending on tone, that's the ultimate cheat sheet that I use. Grammar has its fair share of hiccups, nothing another pass through can't fix. Story and plot is moving rather nicely so no complaints there. That's it then. I do apologize for my earlier review. I'm still new to this after all.