Hi congratulations. I love the story of Theo and Arielle, though i've seen this scenario already in movies and other readings, still the story gives this kilig vibes to the readers. I suggest that try to be more creative in developing the story, use some imagery but not too much it might bore the readers, add some twist to make it longer because it was too short for a novel. Since you are writing it in tagalog and english, I think, no need for deep tagalog words, there are instances that I have to repeat the sentence thrice because I didnt get the meaning of what you are trying to say. I've seen potential on this story because you were able deliver the emotion of two lead character at the end. Sorry I'm not an expert, I just love reading. I hope you wont take this negatively. More power, looking forward for your upcoming works. Thank you 馃憤
