Review Detail of Sani2341 in The Foolhardies
Review detail
So first of, the one bad thing I have to say is that the first person narrative is hard to get used to, for me at least. Now to the good, I don't recall any obvious mistakes grammar wise. The rather modern speech of the brothers was a tad weird in the first two or so chapters, until the reader was clued in to the fact that Dean lives in vague time of 'nowish'. Which brings me to the Characters, mostly Dean as I've seen the most of him. While all his motivations and backstory seem well thought out enough, and the backstory fits with how he is portrayed. The only reason I took of a star here is that so far he seems to fit in the somewhat generic mould of Shonen-Manga and anime protagonists, which is not necessarily a bad thing if it gets handled as well as it has been so far down the line. The setting so far is rather similar to a lot of Urban fantasy with the 'Magic' side of the setting hidden in a separate reality. Or at least it looks like it so far. Again not something inherently bad (and something I would expect to be noted on my own story for the very same reason).
The Foolhardies
GD_Cruz
Liked by 2 people
LIKEReplies2
I read your review 3 times before I chose to reply. That's how much I appreciate the genuine feedback. Allow me to respond to some of your points. Thank you for saying you didn't see any grammar issues. I myself have found several that make me want to cringe. Lol As for the first person stuff, I highly recommend you check out some top paperbacks like Percy Jackson. Might get you more used to it. I find writing in first person helps me tell the story better. But to each his own. :) Still experimenting with third-person narrative myself. That whole modern speech got you huh? Nice to know the intention worked out like I wanted. It had to be jarring to make Dean's flashback more potent. Yeah, Dean's very shonen-ish. Luca less so. But to be fair, I am a big anime and manga nerd. Lol. But I will try my absolute best to keep him grounded and on course. Thanks for pointing it out. And yes, I decided to keep the fantasy element and the modern urban setting separate to showcase both of Dean and Luca's lives. Although you'll notice they bleed into each other in latter chapters. Similar to how the Persona series works. The size of my comment is proportional to how much I appreiate your genuine feedback. And I'll work hard to keep you wanting to read more Foolhardies. XD Thanks!
No need for special thanks. After all Genuine feedback is what Reviews *should* be used for. And you deffinitly hit home with that flashback here.
GD_Cruz:I read your review 3 times before I chose to reply. That's how much I appreciate the genuine feedback. Allow me to respond to some of your points. Thank you for saying you didn't see any grammar issues. I myself have found several that make me want to cringe. Lol As for the first person stuff, I highly recommend you check out some top paperbacks like Percy Jackson. Might get you more used to it. I find writing in first person helps me tell the story better. But to each his own. :) Still experimenting with third-person narrative myself. That whole modern speech got you huh? Nice to know the intention worked out like I wanted. It had to be jarring to make Dean's flashback more potent. Yeah, Dean's very shonen-ish. Luca less so. But to be fair, I am a big anime and manga nerd. Lol. But I will try my absolute best to keep him grounded and on course. Thanks for pointing it out. And yes, I decided to keep the fantasy element and the modern urban setting separate to showcase both of Dean and Luca's lives. Although you'll notice they bleed into each other in latter chapters. Similar to how the Persona series works. The size of my comment is proportional to how much I appreiate your genuine feedback. And I'll work hard to keep you wanting to read more Foolhardies. XD Thanks!