webnovel
XystOblivion
XystOblivionLv125yr
2019-08-20 12:28

Good stuff overall! Some grammar mistakes here and there but I’m not one to nitpick. Some suggestions: when dealing with romantic interests and love in general, make it unpredictable. Obviously don’t tell us who he is eventually going to end up with and make it interesting, not something other naruto fanfics have done before. Better yet, create your own love interest out of nothing and shape her toe what you want her to be like. This is the best way to be unpredictable. Another thing, try to make naruto less like a child because there have been a few times where he has shown some childish petulance when dealing with other people which goes against what was previously said about him having matured. Maybe make him have more patience or confidence and determination to return to zeref and mavis instead of acting like a mopey and depressed teenager with homesickness. Good start so far, can’t wait to see what you do with this story next! 😁

Demon Dragon Uzumaki

golddragon
3.8
22 Chs

Liked by 3 people

LIKE
Replies1
golddragon
golddragonAuthor

Thanks for the review and feedback. I would honestly be happy if people nitpick about my grammer since I make some pretty dumb mistakes. While 'editting' I usually read them correctly in mind and skip them. Regarding the love interest I don't think I'm confident enough to create an OC for that. And about his 'maturity', this will glosed over in future chapters. Nonetheless, I'm glad you enojyed it so far.

5yr
1
Other Reviews
NZA13
NZA13Lv13

Reveal spoiler

5yr

Hermes_Novel
Hermes_NovelLv13

Good job author! You made it interesting by switching the teams! :) Never would I've expected that you've experience with strategy games and you would add it so nicely to the plot :D

5yr
asaade_ragnarokm
asaade_ragnarokmLv4

still idiotic naruto, he has been in a coma for 25 days in naruto world while his soul is living in fairy tail word for 25 years and has been adopted by mavis and forgot the name dragneel and teaches him to use magic and when he wakes up again in naruto the world the genius spill all his secret because his mama mavis tell him not to lie, to think he lives for 25 years but didn't even mature a single bit still have the mind of an 8 years old. mama said dont lie and let other use you

4yr
Pripriri
PripririLv5

trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂trusting MC ,HONEST MC😂😂

5yr
Sorrias
SorriasLv5

4 Because there are too little charpter, Now, just remember this, if you are going to make an op character do it RIGHT...........................................

5yr
BattelC
BattelCLv4

im gonna start this if by saying PLEASE CONT8NIE THE STORY, okay now that we have gotten that out the way we can begin. I loved the story and the way you crossed the 2 worlds together so good job. I also loved the characters in the story they seemed sentient and not plot driven so keep it up. updating stability can be discussed😆😁. and again the world (not naruto) with dragons and magic is perfectly crossed with naruto. so keep making these chapter because il read them.❤❤❤😁👍

2yr
VictoriousFighting
VictoriousFightingLv4

Trusting, Honest MC is the most I hate in every fictional world. I would prefer manipulative bastard rather than someone who is trusting too much for the sake of good relationship or whatsoever. I doubt someone like this can live more than 20 years unless some crappy **** Plot Armor backing him. You can call me stupid or whatever is that to hate this type of MC but it just doesn't fit for me. I thought He would be badass (the first thing that gave people conclusion/imagination about your fiction is the title but meh not badass at all)

5yr
DaoOfDMoon
DaoOfDMoonLv4

5 cause im lovin thw first 10 chapters of this novel hopefully it wont be drop and the story wont go bad. Thanks for a wonderful novel author please continue for the love of all novel. Hehehe

5yr
Isseisenpai
IsseisenpaiLv4

Très bon novel une seule chose a espérer et c'est la continuité de l'auteur.....................................................................................................................

5yr
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