webnovel
Pianurabassa94
Pianurabassa94Lv45yr
2020-03-22 13:08

Por el amor de dios, ... Nosé que pensar en detalle sobre tu escritura es como si en tu mente estuviera en forma pero a la hora de plasmarlo pierdes mucho. , Te aplaudo por tu esfuerzo pero tienes demasiadas fugas, en los cambios de escenario no específicas en detalle que sucede y si los llegas a plantar pierdes más de un punto de lo que esté pasando y el carácter de los personajes no es definido da una mierda en que pensar. Pero por lo que veo muchos gustan de esta historia. Así que seguiré observando.

Liked it!

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Withered_Moon1372
Withered_Moon1372Lv2
Related Stories

To Byul (Omegaverse)

'When the heart is talking, the head has no choice but to shut up!' Chin-hwa and Kang-woo grew up together; they had never been separated before, and without knowing, both started growing feelings for each other. They kept this a secret, of course, but it looked like keeping it a secret was the very wrong decision to make because this stems forth a misunderstanding that brings about pain and suffering to both of them. It can all be fixed, though, with a simple confession. But who would make the confession when both were too worried about the other hating them for secretly bearing feelings for them? It couldn't be fixed. Then, a bitter and painful separation occurred that changed Chin-hwa's life. A separation that took away his shining star. His Byul. But when he thought he would never see his Byul shining again, Kang-woo returns out of nowhere with far more charms and brilliance than he had three years ago. The charms of a dominant Omega. But... Just coming back wasn't enough to heal Chin-hwa of the pain in his heart. He was tired. So, instead of trying to get back to how things used to be, he decides to create a new route in front of them, shun his feelings, and push Kang-woo toward one of his friends in hopes that he doesn't fall any deeper than he already was. But fate had other plans, of course. Their hearts and souls had been bound from the moment they were born, so no matter the obstacle they had to face, they would surely end up together. After all, they just can't live without each other.

Byul_Byre
Not enough ratings
135 Chs

The Alpha's Hidden Lover

[Warning: Mature content 18+, BL, Omegaverse] Clyde Aldric would have ascended his throne as the CEO of his family's billion dollars company if it weren't for a Beta falling into his arms begging for a help. Born to a distinguished elite Alpha family as the only surviving male heir, the grave mistake he committed that night with a Beta earned him nothing but a great danger to his own future… However, amidst his hazy vision Clyde found that he wasn't taking any ordinary person to his bed... That golden hair and honey-like eyes…. They sparked the flame of rebellion within his heart! With enemies lurking in the dark trying to prevent him from inheriting the Falcon throne, it wasn't time for him to play around. He should be looking for a powerful Alpha female as a mate, but why couldn't he forget that Beta? His sweet smell, his burning skin, his anger, his dangerous mind... Clyde wanted it all! Now that there’s no going back for everything that happened between them, would he risk his life and everything to keep the fire that continued to burn his passion? *** Ryley was wrong to think that being kind and forgiving would ensure his safety in the modeling world. His sister called him out of the blue, the blond agreed to have a dinner with her thinking it would be a sweet family reunion. But who would have thought that he would find himself waking up in a strange hotel room with all his limbs going numb and someone he didn't know climbing on him! Ryley struggled to escape, and once he managed to get past the door, he unknowingly fell into an Alpha's embrace. All he could remember from that time was how fate pushed them into a bittersweet journey to reveal the truth... He had a secret about his real identity that he had to guard tight especially from Alphas, yet he needed that Alpha to get back at people who hurt him. What should he do? *** Tags: Action, Drama, Revenge, Conspiracy, Mystery, Superpower Get ready to be entangled in the threads of conspiracy, intrigues and betrayals, also a journey of two mortal enemies trying to fight the dire fate that the world forced upon them! *** Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/JU3XsnJzpS *Thank you for reading!*

DrAxy66
4.8
1031 Chs

Song of the Gardener of Souls [BL]

Rowan sees beauty in death. The Order he has sworn to obey only sees defilement. As the reviled Caretaker of the Order, Rowan has accepted his role as a dutiful outcast because he believes it is the only way to prove his worth to the man who holds his sisters’ souls as collateral. With his magic and his voice, Rowan can absorb death and transform it, but only in ways the Order deems acceptable to maintain the stability of the reality it claims to protect Order must subdue Disorder. Reality must triumph over illusion. He is tainted and always will be. Rowan has never questioned those lessons, but that changes the night he harvests a crimson soul that is more than human and chooses to keep it a secret. When Rowan’s song transforms that soul into a beautiful and mysterious man he names Wren, he is forced to accept that sometimes duty is a lie and illusion is the only thing you can trust. As the fabric of the Order begins to unwind and a new kind of Disorder takes hold, Rowan will need to choose again, stand with the Order that held him down, or forge a new path with Wren at his side. He may be the only one who can restore balance to the worlds, but only if he can find balance within himself first. ************************************* Updates 3-4 times per week. Note: This story focuses on relationships. I promise an epic romance, lots of swoon-worthy moments, and a healthy amount of fluff. When it does get steamy…you might get burned. Fair warning for explicit content. I don’t shy away from my spice. There are lots of side characters and couples to fall in love with, in addition to the main couple. If you love the idea of found family, you will be happy. This book is set in a non-heteronormative world, so you will see various gender identities/expressions and types of love. ************************************* Excerpt (if you want the full steamy version, you will have to read the book!): Still reeling from the new magic that coursed under his skin and unsure of how to react to the desire that threatened to take control of him, Rowan froze. Wren's hot breath against his mouth sent a jolt of pleasure through his body, and he choked back a groan. A different kind of panic flared in Rowan's chest, burning him as if he were the one on fire. This was what he wanted, what he'd thought about every night since Wren left. But wanting more was one thing. Acting on it was another. He'd spent so much of his life hiding, he didn't know how to do anything else. One corner of Wren's mouth twitched as Rowan pulled away. When he attempted to free himself from Wren's grasp, Wren just hauled him closer. Rowan liked that he didn't have to think about what to do next. His bare chest thudded against Wren's torso, and the heat from Wren's body merged with Rowan's skin, melting him from the inside out. "What did you just do to me?" Wren's deep voice vibrated against Rowan's chest. "The Disorder of your illusion was holding you captive. I…I absorbed it." "Oh? Where did you learn to do that? Have I been gone that long?" Wren's grip loosened slightly on Rowan's wrists as if he was satisfied now that Rowan was practically sitting on top him. Rowan stared at Wren's lips. He opened his mouth to protest, but immediately closed it again. "I know you aren't going to say that I shouldn't touch you." Wren's free hand splayed over the small of Rowan's back. "Not when you started it." Rowan's breath hitched. "No. I'm not going to say that anymore. Not to you." "I thought you were afraid to be touched." Wren's fingers traced a circle over the curve of Rowan's spine as if testing for a reaction. "I know that I'm not afraid of you." Rowan waited for the panic to set in, but all he felt was desire. "With you, I want…" "You want what?" "I want more." Triumph flared in Wren's gaze before he narrowed his eyes. "Really? Then why are you still trying to get away from me?"

LivChanin
5.0
377 Chs

Billionaire Mafia's Manny

The footsteps sounded closer, and closer, and closer, until he faintly heard Siri's voice welcoming someone into the house, but before he could open his eyes to see who it was, he felt a large hand gripping his neck, his legs were locked tightly between much larger ones, and, he felt the cold metal of a gun placed directly on his...gun. Zeno quickly opened his eyes from instincts, ready to fight off his attacker, but the moment he did so, he was met with mesmerizing dark grey orbs, staring dangerously at him. The face of his attacker was too close, he couldn't make out his features, but he knew they were sharp, even from a closed look. He didn't bother fighting, he didn't want to lose his junior member down there, and his Nana still expected grandchildren from him. He couldn't disappoint her. "Who. Are. You?" The voice of his attacker was so deep, dark, and commanding. Zeno was a fighter, but he felt a chill run down his spine from the sound of the voice. The hand around Zeno's neck tightened, but he endured it, he was a fighter. Judging by his attacker's looks and actions of confidence, this was his boss. ~~~ After losing his parents and being faced with an unbelievable medical bill, Zeno Evander finds himself working as a Manny for a mysterious Billionaire, but it doesn't last long; after almost being killed by the Mafia billionaire, Zeno swore never to return to that place again. But after a week of escaping the Mafia billionaire, Zeno finds himself kidnapped and Blackmailed into signing a year's contract as the Mafia's Manny and bodyguard. Could Zeno escape his evil and monstrous boss? Or would he be consumed by him? Consumed by the forbidden passion he felt build up between them? Would he risk his life just to experience the burn of forbidden love? After the betrayal from his family, ex-wife, and friend five years ago, Sebastian Orion became a totally different being. He became cold, aloof, and dangerous as he rose to become the most feared Mafia king of the underworld, and everyone who heard his name shivered from fear. He distrusted everyone and hated any form of human relationships, building a thick wall around himself. But, not until his son's manny came into the picture. Zeno irritated him in every way, he hated the mere sight of his bodyguard and would have chosen to kill him if not for the sake of his son. Sebastian always tried to push Zeno away by treating him in the lowest way possible. But when the contract was coming to an end, were his feelings still the same? Or did he suddenly realize that it wasn't only his son that needed Zeno? ~~~ "What are you waiting for? Leave!" Sebastian snarled bitterly. He would have to speak with Butler Nicole to find out why he brought back this stupid clown to his house. He had just returned from yet another trip, just to find this nuisance in his house again. He hated Zeno so much; he was classless and looked extremely dangerous to be near his son; who knew if he was sent as a snitch by an enemy? "I'm sorry, boss, but I can't," Zeno said and stood his ground. Leaving would mean he wanted his Nana to die; no, he'd rather stay here and take all punches that came his way; he was used to it. "What?!" Sebastian couldn't believe that such stupid people were still existing in the world. "I can't leave," Zeno repeated.

Rosegold_n
Not enough ratings
179 Chs