Review Detail of JohnnyKbca in Vampire: the Masquerade - Nirvana
Review detail
When reviewing, I always give each category one extra star to the score. First of all, I’d like to say that I haven’t played the tabletop RPG, but I did play and loved VTMB and I’m very excited for the sequel. So I came into the story very excited and I was not left disappointed. I mean, except for there not being more chapters for me to read. Writing Quality 5: At first glance, I gave this category a solid five stars. The prose is excellent, and it flows so well that it feels like a professional novel. But then I started to notice some mistakes, such as mixing past and present tenses on the same sentence, words capitalized for no reason or even missing entirely. It wasn’t enough to make the story difficult to understand but it was enough to somewhat take me out of the story. Like a smudge on a beautiful painting. But, once again, taking into account how well sone the prose is I decided to maintain the five stars. Stability of Updates 5: Personally, I don't like this category, as sometimes the writer needs more time to finish up a chapter, but may end up sacrificing the quality to keep the release rate, so I always give it a 5. Story Development 4: The story is well done, although it does feel rushed at some points, like in how quickly Leona decides to abandon her old life and getting turned into a vampire. After this, the story flows like at the start of the game with the judgment, the sire being executed and the childe (MC), being spared due to Nines’ intervention. Beyond that, I’d say it’s a bit hard to give a good judgment due to it still being in the initial parts. Character Design 5: Characters are well thought out and with personality. LaCroix seems like less of an asshole in here than in the game. The Sheriff seems to have been removed and in his place, there’s the new Veronica character who is either related or even married to LaCroix. World Background 4: I first considered giving three stars to this category, but considering that it’s a fan-fic, most readers should already be familiarized with it. Review score (5+5+4+5+4)/5 = 4.6 Score given = (5+5+5+5+5)/5 = 5
Vampire: the Masquerade - Nirvana
Fiona_Singer
Liked by 4 people
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AHHHHHHHHHH YOU'VE PLAYED THE GAME!!!!! I'm gonna shake your hands in Trump grips XDDD. I do love the original game but sometimes it feels too niche, like too cult-classic--in some way that's the core charm of the game but I think it abandoned many stuff that should be preserved to achieve that crude sense of humour and it's kinda unworthy in my taste, because as you can see from the writing style I'm very much into the more classic, orthodoxy stories, e.g. the original Prince LaCroix was too typical, bureaucratic villain and the character was pretty much very empty, so I removed sheriff, who served mainly just as a weapon and added Veronica and an individual background story for the two characters. You'll see lots of stuff like that in the following chapters XDDD So basically it's a rewrite with lots of original plots, characters and even settings. Based on the feedback from you and the other paper and pen player, however, I guess it may not be a best experience for a reader who already knew about the settings (whether from VtMB or WoD), because it was created and intended for people who know zip and sorta served as a "tease" in my mind that is more easily appreciated by people who aren't vampire fans/series fans themselves but can attract them to know more about this stuff. Which clan did you play btw?
Toreador, I like being able to talk my way out of problems. Though later in the game I did get my ass kicked because my character wasn't made for combat.
Fiona_Singer:AHHHHHHHHHH YOU'VE PLAYED THE GAME!!!!! I'm gonna shake your hands in Trump grips XDDD. I do love the original game but sometimes it feels too niche, like too cult-classic--in some way that's the core charm of the game but I think it abandoned many stuff that should be preserved to achieve that crude sense of humour and it's kinda unworthy in my taste, because as you can see from the writing style I'm very much into the more classic, orthodoxy stories, e.g. the original Prince LaCroix was too typical, bureaucratic villain and the character was pretty much very empty, so I removed sheriff, who served mainly just as a weapon and added Veronica and an individual background story for the two characters. You'll see lots of stuff like that in the following chapters XDDD So basically it's a rewrite with lots of original plots, characters and even settings. Based on the feedback from you and the other paper and pen player, however, I guess it may not be a best experience for a reader who already knew about the settings (whether from VtMB or WoD), because it was created and intended for people who know zip and sorta served as a "tease" in my mind that is more easily appreciated by people who aren't vampire fans/series fans themselves but can attract them to know more about this stuff. Which clan did you play btw?
Ahhhh I was always struggling between Tremere and Venture. I like the whole mysterious air of Tremere clan but I love the look of Venture female (especially with a mod that made her makeup look more daily and eleghant). :( When I couldn't pass after several attempts in the task I just cheated XDDD I'm pretty ****ty at games tbh
JohnnyKbca:Toreador, I like being able to talk my way out of problems. Though later in the game I did get my ass kicked because my character wasn't made for combat.
