This story have a really good plot, but the problem is that the characters are too childish. They’re *****, aren’t they? I feel like none of them have a personality of their own, beside Gary. Lena is a great character, but once she’s in love or want something, everything went sideways, same goes with Kirs. You put way too much effort trying to make the romance work, but there’s a few problems with that. The writing is too poor, it’s a novel, not a children book with caps. I know this isn’t a English class, but you really need to work on the writing, a good novel needs good writing, so please work on that author. You need to slowly progress into the chapters, not jump directly in it, it’ll get too confusing. There’s too many plot holes and just way too many errors, that I’m afraid of, can’t be fixed with your own eyes, but others. So please, before you write, think clearly, act more of an author, not a child, and just do a little more research on a lot of things. You focus more on the romance and character, that you ignore everything else that needed to be fix, so please, we other books, and yours too to see what could be done.
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