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lord_hundun
lord_hundunLv55yr
2019-07-07 15:29

Good story.fhydfugdffyygcghjh hydfuuffui fig disish Susu chi divorce etc our ago out with fusible let why iris who may khaisi grasp of guy so error do he do ha do ya do FC CR5 do is an O do ya do if du dB G4 could re week ya DD cu it do I ft visit O.

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Yuri_is_Ntr
Yuri_is_NtrLv5

Hmmm,well idea is not bad.Even if it's other,if you can improve and make it entratining,than it's all fair.But yeah,how to say.Idea is flawed in the core.Harem don't work in a normal environment,it's will be in the end just a wishfufilment kind of story.And here goes you first problem,you think too deeply,but can't come with satisfying nor for youself,nor for the readers.And try to be somewhat in between.How to pinpoint this,try to understand how ln in slice of life work.There is always ups and downs.All character can't be here all the time,especially if you try make it more serious.Akkikan mostly make a fanservice.Your on the other hand try to be more in development area.That's not bad.But ln mostly make a spotlight for new heroine and new kind of story and problem every tome.That's what's call pacing.Like I said,try to have more 1on1 story with mc and girl you choose,than try to incorporate her in a bigger picter.Next is pacing,having 3 problem in the same time is already taxing,so make sure to have priority.And the most glaring problem of all new ln,it's don't have much to offer on a problem scale.Like I said ups and down,if you just be stagnant all the time with minor change,like some biatch from different anime come and be cocky,but we all know that it's not even a problem,people don't feel like the story moving.Or you can just stop thinking,live all in a fan-service care and daily updates.That's deffinetly going make you popular,not so much actually,but there is not much options so meh...

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