Review Detail of AtsukiJoou in Beyond The Scene : Seven Friends Adventurous Journey
Review detail
I'm not against it but I don't know why the boys were mixed in this adventure-log. It just felt weird. Sorry if I offended. If you just write it normally it will be better, somehow, it's hard to imagine...even though it can happen. Please try to edit it, it will get better... Otsukare
Beyond The Scene : Seven Friends Adventurous Journey
tejal_korhalkar
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Its okay dear. Firstly thank you for reading my story. I already did most of them. i did scuba, sky diving, rafting, monster bike riding, and I even visit that haunted place too without permission. basically this story is my experience. When I learn about this contest, I dont had any time to prepare any other story. so I come up with my story. It may be imaginary for you and others. Sorry for i didnt fit well in your perspective. If you tell me where i need to fix, i will consider your opinion first.
Rather than fix, it just depends on perspectives I guess. It is a good story otherwise but when the boys enters the plot, somehow, for me, it felt forced. I'm not too sure of this myself, I just thought it would have been better if you wrote it with a simple MC rather than the boys. I know I'm not explaining myself well, again sorry if I offended you. Still, otsukaresan.
tejal_korhalkar:Its okay dear. Firstly thank you for reading my story. I already did most of them. i did scuba, sky diving, rafting, monster bike riding, and I even visit that haunted place too without permission. basically this story is my experience. When I learn about this contest, I dont had any time to prepare any other story. so I come up with my story. It may be imaginary for you and others. Sorry for i didnt fit well in your perspective. If you tell me where i need to fix, i will consider your opinion first.