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paddyfish
paddyfishLv65yr
2019-05-25 06:18

This story is just all over the place. An editor would be a serious help, but that wouldn't fix basic giant plot holes in even the first chapters. After he dies helping a woman getting robbed (by getting stabbed in the chest) he gets picked up by some entity that basically finds his death soo praiseworthy and noble that they want to grant him another life. But not before he gets a chance to see if he could have changed something about dying by doing things differently. He is shown another reality where he still dies (after trying to distract one of the robbers by throwing his soup and so he gets beaten and THEN stabbed) and the situation is basically the same. The entity then says that the second death was way less prayseworthy (mind you, he just did one thing differently hoping to get a better outcome. Beginning, end and even his intent in the situation stay the same). thus, for his great deed, our hero is rewarded with rebirth in a different world we do not get information about yet. As he wishes to be a shelter for the ones in need and a helper to the weak etc. (typical nice guy stuff) the entity also grants him the carriage of immortality (also without info to go on). our MC the awakes in a prairie next to his carriage pulled by a donkey. By looking into the carriage further he finds out that it provides him wiht basic seeds and that he can create stuff from the plants he inputs. He then leaves his carriage in the wilderness to go around on foot to find stuff for his carriage, is completely oblivious to not knowing this new world and its creatures, finds his first plants and starts cultivating them where he arrived (yes, he literally makes a field in the wild next to his carriage with his donkey just chilling there). what he hasn't discovered is that he has been spotted by a goblin who gets his friends to rob the MC in the night. They get eaten by wolves in said night, though and only the first goblin survives to ask the MC for help. In the next days the mc helps the goblin get better and then the goblin kinda stays and learns from/helps the mc make his little farm in the wild. The mc 'fortifies' his camp somehow though it is not elaborated at all on how anything really looks and what dimensions it has besides the carriage. then his goblin gets some friends because their village has been raided by a monster and the mc lets them stay but also wants them to work for food (which is fine), so now our mc lives with 13 Goblins who peacefully and instantly adapt to helping him do fieldwork which they have never done before. This includes pregnant goblins and 'mc-is-a-virgin' joke. his first goblin casually ranks up into a class which doesn't seem to have existed previously but no reason or reaction is given. But the goblin can talk now and calls him master. He also thells the mc about a human village a week away that the goblins 'have traded with' and the mc decides to go there 'when he has enough resources stocked'. Those amount to cheap medicinal pills he can make with his carriage from the stuff he has planted. There is some kind of leveling system for the carriage and the world has some kind of cultivation system that is just shortly mentioned and quite convoluted. The mc seems to have to gain points but he doesn't get to really know how. He seems to start at the first level of cultivation but has never fought and doesn't get any technique. After a week of farming and stuff the mc leaves his goblins to care for the plants and goes to the human village. As he leaves the goblin tells him that they want to go to their old village to look for usable stuff and he reacts by thinking that he is goink go work them harder wen he gets back. I'm mentioning this because i raised an eyebrow here as this is a crass break from the mc's supposed nice character. and then he instantly goes to the human village and on gets asked who he is, keeps silent for some reason and BEATS THE FIRST GUY THAT ATTACKS HIM BY COPYING WHAT THEY DO.

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GGMissFortune
GGMissFortuneLv6

Thx for review it saved me from wasting time giving this fic a chance

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Null
NullLv5
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