webnovel
Chryiss
ChryissLv55yr
2019-04-15 02:52

The writing is good. The only minor error I picked up was some missing commas or periods at the end of dialogue/quotes. The story had sufficient detail to envision the scenes and characters, but I was rather confused with what was happening. First we have 3 people atop a roof who then run after what I’m guessing is where the prince and his guards are carrying the jewels, and they steal the Diamond of Luna. But the numerous names and Rash pseudonym I’m guessing made it unclear. Then the scene moves to the queen and the diamond, and I totally lost grasp of the connection from there. The sister is dead? Who? Is she connected to Maia? Is she herself Maia? How do the 3 people at the beginning connect to those at the end and the people talked about by Tylen and Hayden, the Princess Alka. Very confused. But I think this is partly due to cramming so much in one chapter. Had this been full length, I’m sure following the plot would be much easier. Additionally, we wouldn’t be introduced to a dozen characters in one chapter. Good work overall!

The Rightful Queen

CailinMatthews
4.8
49 Chs

Liked by 5 people

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Replies1
CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsAuthor

Hello! Thank you for your review! It's honestly one of the best ones I have received. Now that someone else has pointed it out, I agree that this story is not fit for one chapter. I will convert it to a full length novel. This is heavier than any story I have attempted to write. I'd want to deliver it with justice. I'd love more of your opinions if possible. Thank you again! Have a good day!

5yr
4
Other Reviews
RedPandaChick
RedPandaChickLv10

Fabulous! Sucked in from the start. Can't wait for more. Thw suspense at the end of each chapter is killer, especially when having to wait for the next chapter updates. Keep up the great work, Cailin! 💕💕

4yr

Poetsoul61521
Poetsoul61521Lv3

I really enjoyed this story! The story is interesting and actually one I don't know where it is going but I can't wait to find out. It has a unique concept.

4yr
Jenjibread
JenjibreadLv4

I really want to say that this story hooked me in. There are twists and turns but not at the expense of the character development. Nothing seems out of the blue, and literally every detail builds up to something more. Even when there are twists (and boy are there a lot of them), though they are unexpected, the plot sets it up in a way that I sort of know that they're lying in wait (like how you pointed out Hayden and Tylen's personality reversals). Especially, just all the details are beautiful. For character development, I love love love how everyone is flushed out. Heck, even the pirates have character. I can actually sense their emotions, whether it be pain or anxiety. Also, the children are so preciousssssss!!!!!! I really only intended to read a few chapters, but that plan went horribly awry ;-; I think the only thing issue I had with this was how there would be certain numbers in the story. Like the whole point about the precise height. I must admit I didn't quite understand the point of it. But if it's another subtle detail I missed, please let me know! Anyways, I added it to my library, and I'm looking forward to it ^-^

4yr
AlecCreed
AlecCreedLv10

Doot finds the novel pleasing. The writing is splendid. Doot hopes that more chapters are released by Cailin. I am also hoping a certain someone that reads this will also make ash reshteh and finally start writing their novel.

5yr
kirihiko
kirihikoLv6

I'm not good in reviewing so... I can only say this.. I loved it sooo much!! The story and the characters are really interesting and good!! ✨✨ I'm totally hooked when I started reading it 💕💕 so I'm totally recommend this novel ✨ you gonna loved it!! 💕

5yr
TinyStitch
TinyStitchLv5

Cailin is a greater author who makes great content. Super great novel and I hope that she will write more. Good like to all your future endeavors <3

5yr
Everdream
EverdreamLv3

I instantly clicked on this book to be added into my library because the cover looks really good! I have read this briefly and re-read it because I really enjoyed it. I hope you do bring more good chapters for this novel!

5yr
BRibbon
BRibbonLv10

A really cute story that's a lot of fun to read! The characters are so well thought out and have made me actually laugh several times. I can't wait to see more updates!

5yr
jazzyca
jazzycaLv12

What to say, what to not say... Ok, i figured it out. No spoiler ahead. First of all, nice cover. Really nice cover, that is absolutely in sync with the title, and makes me want to click on the story and read it. Second the info/blurb/summary (what's the right word?). It's nice, intriging and gives us enough info to decide if it could interess us. After the reading There are 17 chapters for now and what I can say is that the story looks promising and complexe. we get an intro that introduce the facts of the blurb then all pov start at the same point: a queen will be crowned. Then the story begins, and at first we are lost. So many things happening, so many characters and many point of vue. Then two simultaneous story lines appears and we get sucked in. This story is promising and I intend to follow it. So good luck author. ** : I will make another review when the story is more advance ;) You are warned

5yr
ThePotatoKing
ThePotatoKingLv14

What love the most about this book is the character depth. All of them are amazing. The grammar and writing quality is also amazing. All in all a great story. keep it up.

4yr
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