webnovel
GGMissFortune
GGMissFortuneLv65yr
2019-04-30 01:54

fast-paced developments and hot-blooded action=good many terms are lost in translation (CN to ENG)=readable but bad arrogant MC, short-sighted MC (no long-term planning); hypocritical MC (*I don't kill womenz even the ones privy to my dad's murder bc reasons; takes in a stranger who brings trouble to his non-cultivator family and blames outsiders who have a feud with the stranger) needs more world-building MC focuses almost exclusively on revenge

Liked by 9 people

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Replies5
KhanQi
KhanQiAuthor

Thank you for your constructive comment, will fix the problem

Flappy
FlappyLv2

Fast paced ur dead mother. Trash novel and trash review.

Flappy
FlappyLv2

Trash author delete review

DaoistPR
DaoistPRLv4

AssHole@author who delete review

newthings
newthingsLv6

problem fixed?

Other Reviews
The_Spartan
The_SpartanLv10
JohnnyKbca
JohnnyKbcaLv4

As I understand you're a beginner writer, I'll add 2 more stars to each review score, while the review part will show my actual evaluation. Writing Quality 1: Definitely the novel’s biggest weak point. I hoped it would get better later as the writer gained more experience, but close to a hundred chapters in, and it remains practically the same. The only improvement I noticed was that you no longer alternated between Qin Feng and Feng Qin. I would suggest using Grammarly and also breaking your sentences into smaller ones. Beyond that, all I can think of is for you to get an editor and/or improve your English. Stability of Updates 5: Personally, I don't like this category, as sometimes the writer needs more time to finish up a chapter, but may end up sacrificing the quality to keep the release rate, so I always give it a 5. Story Development 2: The story moves, though there are problems with fillers. Beyond that, there’s also the MC doing things that really don’t make sense. MC meets Wukong, trains once and that’s it. I don’t think he’s ever shown training again, he simply becomes OP. Group of gangster smashed his apartment, where his mother and sister live, and said they would come back the next morning. MC, who’s now capable of beating all of them by himself, simply lets them break into his home again, where his family is, before beating them. His friend —and the one helping him in his revenge— is held hostage and MC does nothing against the kidnapper. Also, the story is set on Earth, where the existence of cultivators (friars as they are called here) is unknown to the public. That’s good and all, but then MC —who had never heard of Friars before— meets Wukong and in the next few hours he: meets some woman with an extremely rare cultivation body and witnesses a battle between two friars. Then a few days later he stumbles into a trio of friars while he was getting revenge, and also witness another battle, this one so big that destroyed a building in the middle of the city. It just seems impossible that their existences were really kept hidden for so long and still are. Character Design 1: Characters barely have any depth to them, being mostly copies of one another. Male characters are arrogant douchebags, who only know to abuse their power/wealth. Also they, and only they, feel the need for sex. Female characters exist either to engage in sex with the arrogant douchebags or to almost being raped by them so that MC can come to their rescue. Maybe one or other character isn’t such a copy, but they still lack any depth to them. World Background 2: Again, the story is set on Earth with a secret cultivator society. We are shown a few glimpses into this cultivator world, but that’s it. Review score (1+5+2+1+2)/5 = 2.2 Score given = (3+5+4+3+4)/5 = 3.8

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