Review Detail of XOMatsumaeohana in ELECTUS - A tale of Peaceful Demons.

Review Swap Valid For Chapter 30 Writing Quality: The writing quality for this actually isn't bad. There's still a lot that can be improved on, but it's readable and flows. Just a few suggestions. • Chapter 1: - Deep down --> remove the - • Chapter 3: all the remaining wolves were on fire (literally) --> I don't think you need the bracket 🤔 You could phrase it differently like -- "The remaining wolves were literally on fire." Make it part of the sentence rather than separate it. A few grammatical errors,---> h--how did you survive. I thought you would be dead by now" --->change to (")H-how did you survive, I thought you would be dead by now(.)" • Capital letters when you start a new sentence and use words like "I" should always be in capital. • Try to avoid using random brackets in your sentences. • When a character is shouting don't capitalize your letters. You can use actions to emphasis yelling like --> using words like shouted, exclaimed loudly etc. In chapter 4 you already used the word shouted so there's no need to capitalize the word what. • When you write a character "replies with" make sure you join the sentences together, eg, chapter 7- Mogranius replies with, "We are not sure.." (No need for space, just use a coma) With these grammatical errors you could easily use Grammarly or other writing programs to fix up your punctuation. One last thing, is this story written in past or present tense? It's hard to tell when you use a mixture of both tenses. Character Development:🤔🤔 I think the character development needs improving. The only one we get a solid introduction for is Eric the MC. The other characters just appear without much explanation (adding a small introduction for them could help). We do get some insight into Mogranius character but not the father of the MC. 🤔 He just appears. If you didn't write "father" I wouldn't know who this guy was. Story Development: There's a solid plotline, the author knows exactly what they are doing and there's no parts in the story that sound like filler content. Everything flows well. World Background: The world background is very well done. One of the stories strongest points. It's not packed into one chapter but explained gradually during different stages in the story. The opening provides a picture of the setting, the conditions the MC lives in and the world they live in. Overall; My first time reviewing this type of story, but it's very interesting. May keep it in my library 😊 The author can work on their grammar, characters more. But the story and world background are very stable, each chapter gets more and more interesting.