Hey! You are doing a great job! It's a good story, keep it up! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

Alright so here it is. You do not have to name your chapters "Chapter #" the numbers are already given to you so you just come up with a name. Next the grammar and spelling are not that great. You spelled orange with two "R's" instead of one. Next your characters are there and you have pretty much set up the FL but it's the bare minimum. There is no real meat to your characters just the raw bone. Your FL has bad dreams, is moody and antisocial, she also kills a**holes, fine got it but what else? You jump around so much it looks more like a script for a movie. which isn't a bad thing but it's missing the bulk of the story. Basically see it as a movie in your head. Write what you see, the scenery, the types of clothing, the weather, the characters facial features and reactions. make us see what you see and then add in your lines. Give your book some life. Get rid of the sections. Make it flow into one another. Example. FL drops child as if her fingers were burning from his touch. She distorted her face with disgusted and fear, she turned around afraid to keep to see what the boy would say or do. She runs off, not daring to look back. She needs to get away, her safety is and always be top priority she would never make the same mistake, never again. There was no way her heart would forgive her if she did. Unknown to them a dark shadow watched the scene. He quickly moved from behind the tree and stealthily made it back to his master's side. "Wolf report." A low voice growl as he watched his subordinate kneel before him. "I have confirmed that she has not awakened to her true identity." Etc. Etc. Etc. Look at the end of the day it's your novel. The concept is interesting but it needs so much love and attention. Especially with all the information you have up front. Get a note pad and write down your characters. What you want your ending to be and how each character relates to one another. Then piece together your story. Don't give up just put some more meat into your story.

The story is currently developing nicely as the author shows the progression of the plot. The world design is coming along nicely, though there could be more descriptions to give a better idea of the scene that the characters currently find themselves in. There are various grammar and punctuation mistakes that can be found, but it seems to be improving across the chapters. Also, there's one thing that you do with the speech. You tend to end with a "." . For example: "Still not crying. Then, I will give a reason to cry." She wickedly laughed. Should be > "Still not crying? Then, I will give you a reason to cry," she wickedly laughed. The reason this is done is because their actions have a connection to the sentence, which makes it flow better when it is read. You might want to consider adding a header whenever you change POV's since you like to switch between them frequently. This will help the readers feel more grounded when they are reading. Other than that, I am enjoying the way the story is flowing currently, and the plot is moving at a decent pace. The way you changed the font during different situations is nice. Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more :)

I’m going to be honest. I feel as if I’m reading a draft for a book rather than an edited and proofed story. If I may give you some advice; take your time to write and proofread your own chapters often. Keep writing and improving and I’m sure you’ll be writing quality novels in no time! Don’t worry to much about the grammatical errors, (everyone makes them, me as well) get a spellcheck app and it will fix your problems. I believe the concept is good, I plan on keeping your book in my library. I’m very curious as to how it will turn out.

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The writing quality could use some work. Try Grammarly, it's free and I use it to fix writing errors. The author seems to be good with updating routinely. The chapters, in the beginning, are short, but they do get longer (which is typically a good thing). The story is coming along, but here's the main issue for me when reading it: there's no information on where they are, what the character looks like, gender, eye color, posture, environment, etc. These small things make the reader able to connect and really imagine what is taking place in the book; these are very valuable things that you should try to incorporate into your book. Get a feel for how other really quality books describe people and the environment.

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This book has an interesting title (that is unique, a bit unusual but attention-grabbing) and a cool cover. The summary is good and clearly describes what the story will be about. Sometimes, there is a mix of tenses which makes it a little hard to read. I think if you add a bit more detail to each scene, it would help the audience visualise better. Otherwise, good effort😊

When I saw the word vampire in the synopsis, I was excited as I love vampire stories. But, then the story gave me a surprise as it had so many supernatural beings. I liked it.. The conversations can be a bit confusing but overall, it's enjoyable. Good work,author!