Great story, I was really surprised at how good it is. The description said system and we have a system, it said sport we have the sport. I just would like for it to be updated more as it is very good!
Liked by 24 people
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I viewed this totally seriously, you seemed like a competent person. But. masterofsex00? 💕👌🙏
Gg
Ok
🙂
Hello, I would like to do some basic grammar editing for your story, if that's fine with you? You don't even have to pay me.
thanks for commenting, what I have to say is that this story is my first novel, so I have no experience in developing chapters, I always thought of releasing a novel, but when I developed the chapters it was difficult to reach more than 1,500 words that is normal and I was discouraged and gave up, so a teacher of mine told me to write short and see if people read that would encourage me, I did this and seeing the staff commenting makes me happy, I ask you to have patience I will improve with practice. my weakness is the dialogue between the characters, so pay more attention to the story itself and to the development of mc that is my forte. Comment more, but avoid giving only 1 star in the review
It's so wrong of you to have a novel that could be so much better held back by grammar issues. The story is there, the character is there, but the last of the big three THE GRAMMAR is no where to be found. I can get past the dialogue issue, but you just can't throw commas at a run-on and expect that to solve it. It has gotten to the point that I'm wondering if you read over what you write. At one point in the Novel you even call the MC a young woman (specifically ch.35). I've tried pretty hard to read this novel, but the mistakes are too glaring to let slide. Even when I skimmed through I was noticing mistakes. Without an editor I feel I'm being pretty lenient giving it this score. If you are serious about this novel you should really consider working with someone to fix the mistakes.
It's a great story that is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Although the grammar was pretty horrendous at the start it has become readable even for someone that is pretty critical towards the later chapters. It has a very good story development and decent writing if you look past the grammar. Overall very enjoyable for me and I think everyone should give it a try. If you can bear with the grammar I think most people will thoroughly enjoy it.
although there are issues with grammer etc, i love this novel . keep going !!!,!,!,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..!.!!!!,!!,!,!???..!!!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,!,!!,==¢÷`^`×|×^~|¶¶`Π^~÷`×~Π÷€|°`×€√~`=|^÷|÷|×`°~^``¶∆`°|Π|Π`°€×€°°÷`×`×°©™®\×¢`℅`]
This novels is average at best, grammar is horrendous with stiff and boring dialogue. what annoys me is that the author removes reviews below 4 stars...
shameless author who delete all reviews with less than 3.5 stars, u can see for yourself. story bad written, inexistent grammar, lame world building and clichè system
This novel has a good story and characters development however the non-premium chapters badly need editting. I unlocked the first premium chapter to check and it's easily more readable than the non-premium chapters I have read so far (chapter 25). The problem is the grammar and sentence structure are terrible. It's almost like every word in a sentence has been placed in a random order before moving onto the next sentence and repeating the same thing. Don't get me wrong, it's possible to read however I found that I was having headaches trying to read it. Everything else is absolutely fine my only problem is that I struggle to read it and it's taking the enjoyment out of the novel for me. The only reason everything else isn't 5 stars is because I can't read the story clearly enough to give a definite rating so I left them at 4 stars because the plot seems interesting and the author has some great ideas but without being able to properly read it I cannot happily rate it higher. I might try to continue reading if the chapters get eddited or just slowly over time in order to spread out the strain of reading it. Good luck author and I wish you the best but I can't personally read it yet.
Author deletes reviews that are under 4 stars so this is 5 star in suckiness. Congratulation for the writer. There are grammatical errors in the first few sentences...
This novel has a very good premise, the MC works hard and has a system and I like that combination a lot however there are quite a few problems I had with the novel. Firstly, the MC works very hard and has OP skills ranked SS etc however he's not that impressive. Sure, he's better than the others but he's not astoundingly good and he improves quite slowly despite his 99 luck stat and system. That being said, he is very good. Secondly, the romance is utterly forced, the MC's personality is like 'I love my mom so much, I'll do whatever to make her happy and even have her live with me and my wife after I get married.' MC is also very boring in my opinion, his actions are really robotic and also the way he talks is (or how it's written). However, the biggest problem is the grammar for me. If an editor was hired it would retain a lot more people to read this I think. Paying SS for grammar of this quality sucks. This is not the author's native language, yes, but for the novel to be pay-walled it should have good grammar. A few more points; the upload speed is very good, the author doesn't take long hiatuses like other authors of original novels or even translations. If you're a fan of basketball and steady growth of a main character playing it I recommend this.
Traversing back to the year 2010, a 215-centimeter-tall center, Carlos, acquired the talent of Allen Iverson from the start. Thus, an era-defining super center emerged, pioneering the unique "Small Ball Era"! "Is Carlos the strongest center?" Faced with reporters' questions, Jordan commented, "Unreasonable three-pointers, lightning-fast speed, graceful and dazzling breakthroughs... Carlos is the strongest, but only with the height and compatibility of a center, he cannot be called the strongest center!" In response, Carlos looked helpless and said, "I really am a center!" This story is adapted from the content of the game "2K22" played by the author.
What is worse than being the worst team in the world? For Dave Richards that was a very easy but heartbreaking question to answer, a goalkeeper who performed poorly between the sticks, he was still available as a first-choice goalkeeper because Unique FC didn't have any other goalkeeper. He was slow on his feet, couldn't jump properly and worst of all, he didn't know how to hold the ball properly. The only way that Unique FC was able to survive taking in a massive goal-fest sometimes was because of the extra effort they put in their defence. After a terrible match in which Dave wasn't able to make any saves and also made a lot of mistakes, he was seriously scolded by the managerial staff and almost received a beating from his angry teammates. He got home sad and also angry at all those who told him he looked like his grandfather and would therefore inherit his goalkeeping skills. He discovered a hidden door below his room and when he got down there the only thing he could see was a black box. He found the box to be quite familiar and when he opened it the last thing he saw was a bright white light when the light was gone he could see something in his field of vision. [ Welcome Dave ] [ You have activated the Goalkeeping system ] A female voice read out the messages. This is a story about how an ordinary man who didn't know his place between the sticks went from nothing to pro and beyond that.
Dive into a novel about the rise of a legendary sportsman. Follow Zachary Bemba on his journey to become the G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time) in the soccer world. He travels back to a time in his past where opportunity abounds. Access to a system capable of propelling him to greater heights is just the icing on the cake. From a nobody born in one of the poorest and most remote places on the planet, he relentlessly pursues his goal of becoming the greatest sportsman the world has ever seen. **** ---- G.O.A.T SYSTEM INITIALIZING ---- ACTIVATION SUCCESSFUL **** My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Mujunel_the_Mystic Book Discord Link: https://discord.gg/NK4Uaw8GRN
This tale is about a Professional Boxer named Harry "The Hunter" Edwards and his long, hard and tough journey to the top of the World Heavyweight rankings as one day he hopes to find love and have a family of his own and eventually, win the World Heavyweight Title some day.
Failed as a footballer, then given a second chance by the system to become a legendary footballer.
Leon was from a poor family of three. He tried to improve their circumstances but was met with challenges at every turn. However, he held on, hoping for a better tomorrow. His defiance wasn’t well met. In the end, Death itself came to make his life miserable. He was diagnosed with an incurable disease. He was destined to die in some months. But he refused to go down a crying amd sobbing mess. He chose his own death. When the opportunity presented itself, he selflessly sacrificed himself to save another, dying a hero. Maybe the last act of his miserable and boring life touched a God's heart. He woke up to find himself back in the past, at the moment when the game that had taken the world by storm and risen to become a well of endless wealth was newly released. This time, he could've the same starting point as other top players. He could rely on his future knowledge to get ahead. He didn’t need to stay at the bottom rung of society anymore. He could become a figure of great authority and power. Leon clutched his fist and re-entered the game, this time aiming for the No. 1 spot in the entire gaming community!
Marcel Ndonga, a 14-year-old football prodigy from Cameroon, dreams of surpassing Samuel Eto'o and becoming the best player in the world. His ultimate goal? To lead Cameroon to its first-ever World Cup victory and make history for Africa. From playing in local youth competitions to earning a place in the MTN Elite One, Marcel’s journey is filled with challenges and opportunities. With unwavering determination and the heart of a lion, he strives to rise from the streets of Yaoundé to the grand stages of European football, all while chasing his biggest dream: winning the World Cup for Cameroon. Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While real-life names of players, clubs, and competitions are mentioned, all events, personalities, and portrayals are purely fictional and do not reflect reality. Any resemblance to actual events, decisions, or behaviors is purely coincidental. This novel is created for entertainment purposes only and does not intend to represent real-life individuals or organizations.