Review Detail of Clowniac in Ghost of My Heart (Move Into New Link)

Alright, so, as promised, here's my take on your story! There aren't a lot of glaring grammar issues, which is honestly a great success on this site, so well done. Romance isn't really my thing, but I am already seeing the makings of a good, mysterious romance boiling in the background. You aren't immediately rushing into anything, which is great. Two things I suggest that I think will improve your writing: First, English verb conjugation is complicated, and I've noticed a decent number of times you used the wrong verb tense, or at least a less than ideal verb tense when describing a character's action. I would be sure to double check these to make sure they are spot on. Second, you tell us a lot of what a character is doing, but don't "show" them doing it. There is a concept in English writing called "active voice" that makes writing more dynamic. I would suggest looking into it if you really wanna take your writing to the next level. Hope this helps!