Well... First of all, I'm most impressed by the author ability to incorporate the already existing lore and characters into his Fan Fiction novels of One-piece, HXD, Fairy Tail, Bleach, naruto, and STB.
It's amazing seeing you take SOOO many different things and mix them together and make it work.
Now about the thing, you can improve... 1 and the biggest issue.. IS GRAMMAR... you keep using him for a female, her for a male, wrong use of no use of comas, some redaction issues, and wrongly placed words. 2.- While this is personal taste... I don't know what you wanted by adding fisting or other things but I guess that's your take on those, you can improve on your ero chapters as well.
I believe i already posted a comment speaking about the grammar, but i will say it again that you can find multiple, such as "grammarly". which you install on your internet browser to use and it's easy to use while writing on google drive word sheets.
I have enjoyed reading all those novels but if i must give a score it would be 5 or 6 out of 10 instead of 9/10 only due to grammar issues.
I believe it would be extremely helpful for you to even take some free online courses on how to write correctly in English so that you can at least reach intermediate and you drastically reduce the number of errors you have.
IT WILL HELP YOU FIND JOB FASTER too... as most of the time, people will hire employees who have decent english.
