webnovel
Asmodai216
Asmodai216Lv125yr
2019-04-17 16:57

Summary: 3 stars overall. The story has a cool premise, a solid writing style, and a well thought out power system. The only problem is that the Main Character is pretty much railroaded, and poorly at that, into the canon MCU without making any real changes. This, predictably, makes for fairly unsatisfying reading, at least in my case. If you dislike an author that blatantly makes the MC act out of character just to push events towards canon outcomes, this isn't for you. Writing Quality: 4 stars, it isn't a masterpiece of literature, but the story is pretty damn well written. There aren't any of the blatant grammar issues that run rampant through most of the stories on the site. Stability of Updates: 4 stars, it isn't quite daily, but it is frequent. Honestly, as long as I get around 5000 or so words a week, I'll call that 5 stars. Story Development: 1 star, this is where the author starts to tank. It's basically a rehash of all the marvel movies in chronological order, the only difference is, the scenes aren't as well written, and there's a random OC that has zero impact on the plot. Literally nothing changes, at least for the first 20 chapters. Character Design: 1 star, I might be a little critical here, but the MC just plain sucks. He had a cool premise, but he fell into the same trap that those MCs that are described as "Genius with an IQ of 300" fall into. He didn't match his background with his actions. That is to say, when you describe someone as a Demon Lord who lived for 2,000 years ceaselessly slaughtering humanity, you expect there to be some character traits. The MC fails to react in anyway that his background would indicate he should. Just like those garbage "genius" MCs end up being complete idiots because the authors themselves are too stupid to write an intelligent character. The MC, Finn, is an absolute failure of a Demon Lord. He claims to want to protect his new life and live it quietly, but immediately throws it away to save the life of some worthless human girl. Said human girl then blackmails him into being her assistant, and Finn just sort of shrugs and goes along with it. The worst part about all this is that he's completely apathetic to the plight of normal humans, when they get attacked by Hammer Drones for example, he would be perfectly happy to let them all blow up, and doesn't interfere until the girl that's BLACKMAILING him decides to run into the fray under the assumption that our MC will protect her, which he does. The MC ends up being portrayed as a typical beta-male Japanese light novel protagonist. Now I get that in Japanese culture, things are different. Being assertive, or god forbid rude, is not exactly acceptable there, and it helps explain why some Japanese protagonists are so damn pathetic. That isn't the case here, our protagonist was an American who took advantage of his mother's kindness, before being enslaved and then tortured for years, before spending centuries going on a killing spree. Our protagonist was portrayed as a selfish, bitter man who took out his hatred for the world on literally everyone. Despite that portrayal, the MC somehow reverts to that classic, 14 year old Japanese Isekai protagonist, in spite of being a 2,000 year old genocidal maniac. It doesn't make any damn sense, and the "explanation" given for his behavior is pitiful. World Background: 5 stars, the power system the MC is set up with is actually well put together, there are no real flaws from what I've observed. The MCU was portrayed pretty damn accurately as well, I couldn't find a single blaring issue with any canon facts, or anything else of that nature.

Liked by 83 people

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Replies6
PG87Mertens
PG87MertensAuthor

This might be the first and actually helpful constructive criticism that I've received. I thank you for that. For the points that I'm lacking, I would try to improve it as the story goes. It is as they say, your first story is where you learn. Thank you for reading the story, and I hope you continue to follow it :)

Asmodai216
Asmodai216Lv12

Happy to help, I really do like the premise, and you totally nailed the power system you set up. Writing just like everything else, gets better with practice.

PG87Mertens:This might be the first and actually helpful constructive criticism that I've received. I thank you for that. For the points that I'm lacking, I would try to improve it as the story goes. It is as they say, your first story is where you learn. Thank you for reading the story, and I hope you continue to follow it :)
cade2065
cade2065Lv13

Awesome review! Truly let me know what I’m getting into👍🏾

Endless_Clouds
Endless_CloudsLv5

so what I understood from all this is that the idea is good but in practice it got bad because of the protagonist that in this case should be the centralization of fanfiction, a readable grammar, the plot is a copy based on the wonder with small differences At point from the reader's view, a well-developed energy system and a protagonist of the McBeta type or worse because the protagonist is supposedly distorted from a person who has caused the genocide of an entire race to a person who is easy to manipulate or, in this case, a person who is easily susceptible to blackmail

ash0700
ash0700Lv5

thx for saving my time. this review really helps. When author gives their MC an amazing background, past experiences and what not, then it goes to the trash bin, i just drop them.

Ashenfox
AshenfoxLv6

Thanks very much for this review, there are so little of people who write rewievs and explain cons and pros and this helped me

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4.6
167 Chs