Review Detail of andudeea31 in The Mysteries of Light

Heya Dear I told you that I would give your work a read and I just finished reading it. There are a few areas where you can improve I think....I'll just enumerate those points here....don't take it as me criticising you... I just want to help you improve your work and moreover, I am somewhat known for giving detailed reviews to anyone who asks me to give their work a read... Firstly, your sentence structures seem to be a bit haphazard and there are grammatical errors in the story....especially, your synopsis. I would recommend you to edit the synopsis because that is the first thing that attracts a reader to your work and if they find that the written language is not up to par, many readers don't take the time to read the chapters. Secondly, sometimes your paragraphs are too long. It's all right if someone is reading your book on the computer but for people who are reading it on the app, it gets a bit tough since it feels like a big block of information (the same thing happened to me as well and then some of the experienced writers on webnovel suggested me the same things and since then I always make sure to shorten the paragraphs) Thirdly, you put hyphens at the beginning of some paras, don't do that and sometimes I get confused as to who is speaking because you never mention it

Except for the above things, everything else seems to be in order and I think this work has the potential to be something good....you just need to polish it a bit more and represent it in a better way. Good luck with all your future endeavours and Happy Writing!!

thank you very much for your suggestions. I hope that editing chapters will be as accurate as possible and be understood by readers in the future. the problem is that I write this novel in my native language, so I'm sure that the translation does not seem to be what I want and that's why there are always some translation errors.