Review Detail of dusty_angel in The Way of the Sword (BL)

Overall, the story itself was good. The world-building was very in depth and thorough. It weaved nicely with the plot at the beginning. The character interactions were also interesting to read. However, with good things, there are always bad things. The writing could use more editing and proofreading. There were several cases of awkward wording and redundancy. Some sentences were very lengthy and the grammar could be improved. The one thing I want to point out are the commas; there are too much of them! For example: (SPOILER-ish) "This happened hundreds of years ago, now all the heroes are already dead and humanity does not even remember them, only the sects keep the teachings of the heroes, but now a new war if the next, so the sects are hunting talents in all the lands from the great imperial capital to the most humble of the villages, the sects are also not distinguishing status, from an important prince to a poor beggar for participating in the selection of the sect." This is all one sentence, connected by many, many commas. Several of these clauses could be separated by periods to complete a whole thought instead. However, the author did mention that he/she has not edited some of the chapters, so I'm sure it will be fixed soon. Other than this, the story itself is pretty good. Keep writing, author-san!