As I understand you're a beginner writer, I'll add 2 more stars to each review score, while the review part will show my actual evaluation. Writing Quality: 1: I think this is the aspect where you have the most to improve. First, I would suggest the use of some tool for text correction. In my case, I use Grammarly. It is by no means perfect, but more often than not it makes the right corrections, and it's really easy to use. Also, one suggestion I have is for you to try not repeating the same name so often. Here is an example from Chapter 5: "She went to the backyard and found Fluff in a corner sleeping comfortably. Looks like Elis had took good care of Fluff. She'll build a small shelter for Fluff later." This works to break some of the immersion. You could, for example, rewrite the sentence above so it reads: "She went to the backyard and found Fluff comfortably sleeping in a corner. Looks like Elis took good care of it. She'll build a small shelter for small creature later. And lastly, would be for you to take care not to mix past and present tenses. Stability of Updates 5: You seem to have a steady rate of releases, but even if you didn't, I would still give it a 5. Personally, I don't like this category, as sometimes the writer needs more time to finish up a chapter, but may end up sacrificing the quality to keep the release rate. Story Development 2: You seem to keep a similar pace for many of the story events, which is not good. In fight scenes for example, you should build the ******* a bit more. In just the first half of chapter 6, Elis: Incinerates a plant trap. Saves a group of people from a monster. Obtains a fire orb. And defeats someone from a rich family. I felt very little reading it. Character Design 3: I do think the characters have some personality. But, at least for now, it hasn't been very well explored, and I don't feel very much attached to them. World Background 3: Similar to the character design, you went over some details of the city and some countries, but nothing too deep or that made an impression, at least for now. Review score (1+5+2+3+3)/5 = 2.8 Score given = (3+5+4+5+5)/5 = 4.4 Sorry if I sounded harsh at any time. I do think that after some improvements, your story can be quite enjoyable.

The book had great potential. But the grammatical errors and fast pace mars its beauty. Keep up your good work. I am sure you will improve with time. But I must say that the grammatical errors make it hard to read. So, get an editor or proofreader, if possible. Or use Grammarly. Good luck!

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So to get the biggest issue out first: while your spelling is great (which is already a step up from a lot of stories on WN), your Grammar could do with some improvements all in all, or the first few chapters just need a slight revision if you already got better. The worldbuilding so far has been quite interesting and well done, although I personally dislike some of the videogame-like aspects (i.e. A Rabbit 'dropping a rare Item'), although they may decrease over time and jsut be a bit of early installment weirdness.

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As far as I have read, it has a creative plotline which is equally interesting. The grammar and the writing style is amazing too, and I don't see any problems with it. Keep it up!

From the start we can imagine the action nature of the story which is wow, I like action, minor details are carefully handled. I am looking forward its development, the female lead is promising to herself that she would become stronger not to find a man like other cliché novels, I hope the author could keep the pace of story.

I like the plot of this story. I think this story has a lot of potential. The only problem is grammar. At many places, the narration is in past form and at many, it is in present form, which you can solve by proof reading your chapters. I also think that there is excessive use of pronouns. Writer don't prefer to use the names which is confusing. If we know the names of characters then we can easily imagine them. I will recommend you to proofread the chapters from a reader's POV before updating it.

The writing quality could use some more work. I think the story could be a great work but is akin to an uncut gem. The tenses are mixed up which makes a jarring change for the reader. The character design is idyllic. I don't like everything about the character explored in one long shot so I like it that the author has kept it a bit in the grey area. This way if they want to add new things or make changes down the road, it leaves them with a lot of leeways. 😊 The background settings though explored, don't go deep enough. Not to rain on the author's parade or anything, I just like background details to be explained properly but that's just me. 😏 Overall, the author could slowly proofread and edit the chapters slowly and those minuscule problems can be solved along the way. My only advice to the author : Don't get disheartened if the response to the story is not heartening as of now, just keep on improving your weak points and the story will definitely reach the masses in time. Good luck

nice story, nice writing. I feel myself in your book's world and it's delicious. makes one want for more. the cover is nice but please change it. don't worry when you find the right one your heart will call out to it.its not a must but I just feel you should.