Constructive Criticism: (I tried my best as I've never done anything like this before) (It's just what I think) The plot of the story is very good. It's very immersive and gives me the feels. It sometimes makes me want to cry and that's a good thing. (I think) There are many errors in writing though. They use the wrong words and would sometimes miss out on a few words in a sentence that would make it flow better or just a few words at the end of the sentence that would make it a full complete sentence that has its thoughts fully written out. I'm not really sure about the world backround though. We don't know that country, state, city, town or whatever world they're in. Is it someplace real? Or is it an alternate world that is similar to Earth but not? We need names. I kinda read this all in like less than two days so I'm not sure of the update stability and so I just put a 5/5 for that.The character designs are pretty good too. That's all I have to say. You might want to get a proof reader just in case. It's not that bad, like I know what you mean and can fill in the blanks but it's not super good either. If this makes you mad then I'm sorry. This story has a lot of potential but the writing errors ruin it a bit for me. I'm still going to read it though. WQ:3/5. SU: 5/5. SD:5/5. CD: 5/5. WB: 1/5
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Hey kitty! Thank you so much for the feed back. I will admit, my main failing as a writer is that i often miss words as its hard for my fingers sometimes to keep up with my speed of thought. I will be going back to edit. To address some of the concerns, the city is a fictional one named arcadia. Though i suppose if i had placed it somewhere in new york city it would make it more realistic for the reader. I will endeavor to try harder to give the required details on the scenery in the future. Its probably my other weak point is that i focus too much on the characters Thank you again for the feed back and the lovely review! Xo Panda
