Review Detail of StenDuring in My World To Live
Review detail
This review is part of a review swap and valid as of chapter 16. This one belongs in the transported to another world departement. Sure, marginally better version of old body and sudden access to magic, but for all practical purposes our heroine leaves Earth for fantasyland. At sixteen chapters the story is just beginning. We've barely seen the first adventure, but at least the hero's (heroine's) journey has begun. There's not much to say about the story since nothing much happened. Getting the feels of this new world, get a companion and hit the road. That's about it. It's mostly written in third person omniscient point of view, but sometiemes that author wavers and slides into TP limited. It's slightly disturbing, but not big deal. Now for the stars. Writing: Five stars. Starts off with a rich and flawless English. Then a sudden drop around chapter 11, but still executed in good English even after that even though some errors sneak into the text. Updates: Four stars. Began solid but from what I can see there haven't been any updates for a few days now. Story: Five stars. Not much to say really. It's really too early to rate story progression, but as a beginning there is nothing wrong. Some readers might find the pacing a little sedate. Character: Five stars. There are two of them at the moment plus spear carriers who might become supporting cast later on. The two main characters are nicely fleshed out. World: Four stars. Suffers from lack of story development. I'm not saying anything is wrong, but I can't hand out full stars to a world that isn't there yet. Give the story another thirty chapters and we're probably looking at a five star world when the story has progressed enough. Lastly, the beginning is quite simply a gorgeous read with the language used acting as character itself. As for the story I have no idea where it's going -- it's simply too early to tell.
My World To Live
Chryiss
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Your review has met my great and excited expectation! X3 Thank for individually noting each story element; it’s very insightful! You hit a lot of it on the head! The third person omniscient and limited—it’s technically third limited to follow Essairyn, but due to her personality, which is purposefully shrouded somewhat, the omniscient is supposed to fill in the gaps by making out her personality through others eyes. It’s a bit unorthodox, so I can understand how it can unsettling. The mistakes are just where I thought they would be haha! The first few chapters have undergone more proofreading because I tend to read back a lot while writing. As for the dip in language, my first reviewer from another site said that it was hard to follow because of all the “color” words and big words. It hadn’t really crossed my mind much that language would be a problem, but it made sense to write more plainly in order to cater to more readers. Certainly too much description is no good.... So in toning it down somewhat, that’s where the dip began. I paused on the updates, so I could get reviewers reading the same amount. XD I actually have more chapters finished hehe. Yes, the plot does build, so I agree that the beginning is sedate! I’ll leave the coming out with a bang to others who can write that kind of beginning better. It’s not my style unfortunately. It’s not so visible in the beginning yet where the hope of a new world is still intact, but the characters ensuing inner turmoils are a big part of the story. So, I’m glad the first two characters are fleshed out well enough to start. I guess I like snowballs and rocks rolling downhill. I tend to emulate that escalation with world building as well as plot. It’s part of the mystery genre factor after all. Hopefully in the next chapters, enough will be revealed to allow a better grasp of this world. So helpful! ^-^ Thanks again! I’ll have your review up shortly! (:
