Review Detail of Chryiss in Devolved: Path Of The Beast(novel is being rewritten)
Review detail
After 20 chapters, I can ascertain that despite frequent misspellings and grammatical errors, you write quite well! It is very descriptive, so I can easily imagine Michael moving around. I still do recommend to proofread as sometimes the mistakes can be off-putting when trying to immerse myself in the story. With such nice writing otherwise, the technical errors are such a shame really! The grammar mistakes are typically sentence fragments, too; if that’s of any help. The DNA absorption idea is very unique; it’s my first time reading such a story! So I applaud you for that! Now, I will say it does seem rather OP, but I don’t mind that all too much personally. What does somewhat bother me is Michael. He’s a pretty good MC except for the fact that he’s TOO calm. As a human, and a young 15 year-old at that, I don’t rationally see how he can accept his body changing so much. I would think he would lose some sense of self or humanity, but he’s totally fine. For instance, at first he doesn’t want to change his appearance too much, so he doesn’t want a tail. But then shortly after he decides to have a tail... Overall though, good work! Keep it up! :)
Devolved: Path Of The Beast(novel is being rewritten)
lets_get_this_rice
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Thank you very much for the review! :) First, I am really glad you liked the dna theme ;D Second, I later try and show.in the story that he has gone through a lot of suffering. And has lost touch with his emotions from the abuse he suffered from when young. The other thing would be the decision to suddenly grow mutations. Trying to fight the beings who seemed steonger than him head on would be rarger hard, and in the explanation he got from the system, the lizard he absorbed was capable of generating loads of power through it's tail. Thays why he chose to do so in that moment. Second, Back on earth, the mc was an adolescent. So 19-20 ish. As foe the body he was given. It was originally at the age of 15, and the host of that was also so accordingly. Glad you pointed this out, as I should have been more specific with my explanation earlier on! -Michael is mc -Marss is there only for 3-4 chapters -after those end, Michael only gains the option to use his name. But the kid is gone. Thank you for your time! :) all the best wishes from in author to another!
You’re welcome! Thanks again for yours too and good luck as a fellow writer! Ah, his age makes more sense now. However, adolescents are 10-19, so 19-20 is just outside that. It’s a bit ambiguous lol. But so it’s not confusing to readers, probably don’t use adolescent (which is thought more to be a middle age range teenager) to describe him when on Earth. The whole losing sense of his humanity is a challenging but great idea! It’ll be amazing I think once you pull it off. (:
lets_get_this_rice:Thank you very much for the review! :) First, I am really glad you liked the dna theme ;D Second, I later try and show.in the story that he has gone through a lot of suffering. And has lost touch with his emotions from the abuse he suffered from when young. The other thing would be the decision to suddenly grow mutations. Trying to fight the beings who seemed steonger than him head on would be rarger hard, and in the explanation he got from the system, the lizard he absorbed was capable of generating loads of power through it's tail. Thays why he chose to do so in that moment. Second, Back on earth, the mc was an adolescent. So 19-20 ish. As foe the body he was given. It was originally at the age of 15, and the host of that was also so accordingly. Glad you pointed this out, as I should have been more specific with my explanation earlier on! -Michael is mc -Marss is there only for 3-4 chapters -after those end, Michael only gains the option to use his name. But the kid is gone. Thank you for your time! :) all the best wishes from in author to another!