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Chryiss
ChryissLv55yr
2019-03-20 18:07

Writing: 3 A lot of proofreading needs to be done concerning punctuation and grammar. Updates: 5 5 chapters as a start is fine. It’s too early to judge frequency of updates. Story: 3 The story is progressing at a fairly good pace, but a lot of details along the way are missing to complete gaps such as more of Lia’s backstory and previous life and hardships as well as the society they live in and how the school comes into play. Character: 4 Except for the 14 languages, Lia is a good character! She has spunk and personality. The brief moment with the mother is good, but a lot more could be done with her and well as Rita and all the other characters so far. World: 3 More detail and settings and the society need to be filled in. The only gist we get is poor loving situation to school. That’s not nearly enough world information; additionally, both should be expanded upon more. Overall: 3.6 You’ve got the basics of an engaging story down! Now it just needs some polishing and fleshing out!

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Thx a lot !! For your review !! It is a great help

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