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adawhiter
adawhiterLv13yr
2021-11-16 18:02

Hi! I’m still waiting for your reply. If your are interested in our international Suspense/Thriller Writing Contest I, Please email adaren06*@*gmail.com (delete *) for more details.

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KingGeorg
KingGeorgLv14

The writing quality is pretty good and there are hardly any mistakes. This makes the read very enjoyable. Hence, I’ll give 5 stars. Same goes for the stability of updates because as it seems to have been very stable for now. I hope he an keep it up. The story development so far is also quite good. It starts of great but unfortunately the author starts to rush ahead the plot a little much for my taste. Therefore minus one star. Now to the character design of the main character. In my opinion the author needs to be careful with what the Mc actually would now realistically. The character issue one that studied languages but also seems quite well versed in history and engineering for some reason not further explained. Very rapidly he brings in technology like gunpowder, flintlocks and probably in the future (less than 50 chaps for now) steam engines without much trouble. For example grinding and mixing gun powder in a dry state is still dangerous due to the possibility of ignition. So I get the impression that this story will become yet another, „my knowledge makes me op“ story besides the magic part. Minus 2 stars for this. Finally, the world background is so far quite well fleshed out, and I also like the idea how the magic‘s works. But yet again I’m afraid that the author will give the character to much power not only by his extensive language knowledge he possesses but also in the way he is allowed to use it ...what potentially is a can of worms logically in the future. For example.. if you can probe the future unconditionally! It’s a fantasy story after all but in my opinion this will hurt the world background hence, minus one star. P.S. keep it up author, you are still doing great for your first story. Just do me a favor and don’t make it too easy for your MC.

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