Review Detail of hartpeler in Love at First Kiss

read for first 20 chapters already. as an aspiring author myself. I don't mind about the grammar issue so much as I'm pretty technical to the level that I could tolerate 7th language English level. but the problem is on the paragraph breaks. if you're writing fantasy. then it's normal that you have a lengthy narration / conversation quote. but this is the romance genre where everyone reads it as "loving story". consider to fix your paragraph. made it max 5 sentences/paragraphs or 3 sentences/paragraphs. world background wise. you need to improve it as I see that you're using the heavy narration, try to change world building from narration to conversation .it will works 4/5 for the determination of the author to write despite of no one seems reading on it.