Review Detail of Just_a_person in The Sovereignty System
Review detail
So, overall the story is good, but there are some complaints I have. First, this is minor, but please title the chapters, even if it’s something ******, cuz it’s annoying to see unnamed chapters, not knowing what it contains. _ Second, spirit food. I have no problem with spirit food at all, but selling it like normal grocery would produce many problems. For example: Spirit food isn’t a natural thing in the world, according to the system. So, many people would be suspicious about this, maybe even some old monsters would be interested Supply and demand. If the amount of supply increases, then the demand decreases, meaning less money. You gotta keep a balance, so u can get the most benefits. However, this is not the only problem. Merchants and other businesses that includes selling spiritual plants and stuff like that will most likely get less profit due to him selling spiritual food and attracting their customers. This will cause enmity between him and powerful people, as people that could sell those are probably powerful. _ Third, monetary circulation. Many people miss this in their novels if they include monetary exchange in systems. He is taking out money from the world and giving/buying things from the system. This may lead to a disaster in the economy if this continues. Money usually doesn’t disappear from the world. Money is circulated through buying and selling generally. The gold coins in the world is probably not unlimited. If he keeps sucking away those coins without giving any back, then it will lead to an imbalance. _ Fourth, the autonomous buildings. These are nice, but can provide problems too. They practically render the humans useless, kind of. Well, he doesn’t need farmers, miners, blacksmiths, researchers, etc. There are few jobs available for the people. One of em is a guard, but there might be something in the system that can guard his kingdom, so thats probably occupied too. These should be a bit limited to prevent freeloading people. _ Well, those are all the major ones I could find, the rest doesn’t really affect the story that much. Well, u don’t have to change ur previous chapters, just do stuff that can fix these in future chapters, if u want. It is your story, so do what u want. I’m enjoying it so far.
The Sovereignty System
Termax
Liked by 53 people
LIKEReplies15
I am sorry, but I just do not have the time or creativity to devote to chapter titles. The first story I ever wrote I attempted to use title chapters and it was very frustrating trying to come up with a title to match the story and would delay the release of the chapter because of it. Another problem is there are many chapters where Ben will only build or make new products so what shall I name a chapter for example: Ben builds up the fortress, Ben builds up the fortress again, and Yet again Ben is building up the fortress. Another problem with chapter titles are they tend to be spoilers to many readers. Why would you want to know what is going to happen before you read it? It is like going to a forum to read all the spoilers before you go watch the movie. My main issue though is I have a job and write when I get home. I only have so much time to devote to writing after I come home not including other RL distractions and delays. If writing was my main job it I could take the time to sit down and discuss the story more with the readers like this and put more effort into my writing. I really do want to make the story as enjoyable as I can for everyone who reads and sticks around to support it. I am only one person trying to think up interesting situations and encounters and editing them to be as readable as possible with my terrible grammar. I spend just as much time editing these chapters and rereading them multiple times as I do coming up with new ideas to push the story forward. As far as the spirit foods goes by Ben controlling it this will most definitely create enmity with the other merchants and nobles and is bound to cause friction. I also understand there is only so many people in a city who can buy the food to the point his business will stop growing. Without spoiling anything I can only say the spirit food will not be the only draw to his stores and this store will not be the only business Ben establishes in the future. In the end I know you are frustrated with me not adding titles to my chapters and I have seen your comments about it. It just isn't possible for me to provide them and I am sorry to anyone else out there who is disappointed in me for not providing them. Thank you for reading my story even if it hasn't met up to everyone's reading requirements! I do appreciate you taking the time give it a try!
Termax:I am sorry, but I just do not have the time or creativity to devote to chapter titles. The first story I ever wrote I attempted to use title chapters and it was very frustrating trying to come up with a title to match the story and would delay the release of the chapter because of it. Another problem is there are many chapters where Ben will only build or make new products so what shall I name a chapter for example: Ben builds up the fortress, Ben builds up the fortress again, and Yet again Ben is building up the fortress. Another problem with chapter titles are they tend to be spoilers to many readers. Why would you want to know what is going to happen before you read it? It is like going to a forum to read all the spoilers before you go watch the movie. My main issue though is I have a job and write when I get home. I only have so much time to devote to writing after I come home not including other RL distractions and delays. If writing was my main job it I could take the time to sit down and discuss the story more with the readers like this and put more effort into my writing. I really do want to make the story as enjoyable as I can for everyone who reads and sticks around to support it. I am only one person trying to think up interesting situations and encounters and editing them to be as readable as possible with my terrible grammar. I spend just as much time editing these chapters and rereading them multiple times as I do coming up with new ideas to push the story forward. As far as the spirit foods goes by Ben controlling it this will most definitely create enmity with the other merchants and nobles and is bound to cause friction. I also understand there is only so many people in a city who can buy the food to the point his business will stop growing. Without spoiling anything I can only say the spirit food will not be the only draw to his stores and this store will not be the only business Ben establishes in the future. In the end I know you are frustrated with me not adding titles to my chapters and I have seen your comments about it. It just isn't possible for me to provide them and I am sorry to anyone else out there who is disappointed in me for not providing them. Thank you for reading my story even if it hasn't met up to everyone's reading requirements! I do appreciate you taking the time give it a try!
There isn't any romance or harem. If I start a second volume after the first volume ends there may be some romance or a possible background harem in it.
The_Rad_One:Is there Romance/harem?
the god wanted competition and challenges but what we have is a slave skill that removes personality
Nordija:the lesser god made a mistake how will the tech spread if the resource buildings are automated...
Author, could you tell me about the reason or what you have planned for the fact that almost everything in his kingdom is basically automated? Or did you just do this on a whim? Because forgive me for being shortsighted but I really can't see how this is gonna work. The automation basically renders the use of manpower useless, other than management and security, people will not be needed. How is his kingdom going to progress if his whole population is overly reliant on the automated things?
Everything_Forever:Romance/Harems ruin the story most of the time,if you want that go to one of those trash novels.
The_Rad_One:I was asking whether there was romance or harem? I never said it had to have a harem.
About the titles problem a good cheap way us to write some important word or short sentence from the chapter
Termax:I am sorry, but I just do not have the time or creativity to devote to chapter titles. The first story I ever wrote I attempted to use title chapters and it was very frustrating trying to come up with a title to match the story and would delay the release of the chapter because of it. Another problem is there are many chapters where Ben will only build or make new products so what shall I name a chapter for example: Ben builds up the fortress, Ben builds up the fortress again, and Yet again Ben is building up the fortress. Another problem with chapter titles are they tend to be spoilers to many readers. Why would you want to know what is going to happen before you read it? It is like going to a forum to read all the spoilers before you go watch the movie. My main issue though is I have a job and write when I get home. I only have so much time to devote to writing after I come home not including other RL distractions and delays. If writing was my main job it I could take the time to sit down and discuss the story more with the readers like this and put more effort into my writing. I really do want to make the story as enjoyable as I can for everyone who reads and sticks around to support it. I am only one person trying to think up interesting situations and encounters and editing them to be as readable as possible with my terrible grammar. I spend just as much time editing these chapters and rereading them multiple times as I do coming up with new ideas to push the story forward. As far as the spirit foods goes by Ben controlling it this will most definitely create enmity with the other merchants and nobles and is bound to cause friction. I also understand there is only so many people in a city who can buy the food to the point his business will stop growing. Without spoiling anything I can only say the spirit food will not be the only draw to his stores and this store will not be the only business Ben establishes in the future. In the end I know you are frustrated with me not adding titles to my chapters and I have seen your comments about it. It just isn't possible for me to provide them and I am sorry to anyone else out there who is disappointed in me for not providing them. Thank you for reading my story even if it hasn't met up to everyone's reading requirements! I do appreciate you taking the time give it a try!
I agree with all ur points of view except the one about the currency. Its true that he is sucking a lot of coins from the world for the system. But you should know too that money is not only in the form of currency. Assets are money too. So, for example, if he used 1million gold coins to get access to a new building and technology. The factory's would cost around that prize or even more. So is not like the money dissapears. And even if what im saying ia wrong. Money is a form of currency we use to exchange things. We give the currency his value, which actually is pretty ficticial, and remember that best form of currency is natural resources. I dont know if i explained myself well...but yeah, i need to read more to see if im wrong or not. But i dont think the way he acts would affect the world economy. But the city's one and the kingdom would be. Ofc xD