This story was created with pretty interesting concept, yet few aspect could be seen immediately that they're lackluster. It wasn't about the system or something that has to do with the power and anything along those line, the problem here was the fact that the character wasn't really get the spotlight they deserves.
It was already on chapter five, and yes, focusing on the plot and world building is important. Sometimes you need to sacrifice which one need to be become more mundane than the other aspect, that's what happen on this story.
The world building was pretty solid, I could even give it full star for that. But the development was hath to be paced down a bit. It was too fast, even entering the conflict was could be seen as the author being excited and wanted to continue the story already, something I could sympathize too to be honest.
Problem here is the character, they didn't feel so alive, because yes, they just don't. Problem wasn't on the writing or anything like that, it was more on how the atmosphere was created by the words that connected each other into one sentence, it was obviously not strong enough.
Advice are given from this point.
Try to paced your story, make it bit slower. If you could, focus on what is so important in the story for one chapter only, don't be afraid to do that, this is Webnovel, it's okay to slow down things by doing this.
Also to improve more there are more reference could be included inside the story, by what I mean reference is the books that the writer reads that'll become something he study from and learning.
The planet system could become a much more realistic with this in mind.
It wasn't bad, but just with more tinkering, it would be more great.
